Week 6 Preview

At 0 – 5, Dolphins Hitting Their Stride in QB-Heavy Draft Year

Week 6 Preview

Friday, October 12, 2007

The NFL Season is about a third of the way over (scary thought when I put it like that, huh?) and so far we’re acting pretty much the way we did last year going crazy over one game as if there isn’t a single division that isn’t within striking distance. A quick look around the League reveals the Raiders, a .500 team, are in first place in the AFC West; the Steelers are only 1 game up on the Ravens; and the Pats, Colts and Cowboys are the only teams with a 2 (or more) game lead in their respective divisions. With that in mind, let’s take a look at Week 6.

Bengals at Chiefs (+3)
Last season, when Carson Palmer was walking on water and Damon Huard was making everyone forget about Trent Green this was a great game; now it’s a waste of 3 hours on a Sunday afternoon. You don’t know which QB’s are going to show up, the inconsistent one’s from this year or their MVP-numbered counterparts from last season. Still, the Chiefs have looked nothing short of terrible this season.
Bengals.

Texans at Jaguars (-6.5)
The Texans are mildly good this season. Something, I think, that has less to do with the departure of David Carr and more to do with the maturity of the defense. That said, I don’t see Matt Shaub going into Jacksonville and being able to put up points on that defense; couple that with the perfect (read, “mistake-free”) football played by David Garrard and a great running game and Houston does not escape with a victory.
Jaguars.

Dolphins at Browns (-4.5)
The Browns are pretty terrible, but actually played the Patriots tough on the road, which I’m guessing gives their fans false hope. Meanwhile, the Dolphins pooched a golden opportunity to get in the win column by blowing several leads against the Texans. Cleo Lemon is a wildcard though. He was serviceable last season in relief and decent in his one start. If he has a good game, the Fins have a chance…I’ll take them with the points.
Dolphins.

Vikings at Bears (-5.5)
That last Bears game was an aberration. They had to come from behind (scoring 20 second half points) and rely on the mistakes of Favre & the Packers in order to walk away with a victory. I’m not sure Griese is the guy you want to hang your hat on to beat another team by 6. Still, the Vikings do stink and Brad Childress is about as effective a coach as Jessica Alba is a comedienne.
Update: DE Erasmus James & RB Chester Taylor got into a locker room fight that apparently re-injured James’s shoulder and put a shiner under Taylor’s eye. James is out, Taylor will play.
Bears.

Eagles at Jets (+3)
One thing that scares me about this game is that Philadelphia’s offensive line is easier to penetrate than…there’s no way I can go there and not get myself in trouble…it’s porous. Aside from that, Chad Pennington is probably about 2 INT’s away from spending the remainder of his season on the bench; especially, ya’know, when the guy who can replace you can actually throw the football.
Eagles.

Rams at Ravens (-9.5)
I’m sorry, did I fall asleep and wake up in the Bizarro Universe where Kyle Boller is actually a good QB and Steve McNair isn’t being held together with prayers and duct tape? Don’t get me wrong, McNair is one tough guy, but he always seems to be a gust of wind away from pulling a hammy or straining his groin. Still, the Rams are averaging a measly 14-points per game and the only high priced QB who’s been a bigger disappointment to his team has been Mike Vick. Still, 9.5 points is ridiculous! Especially considering the Ravens seem incapable of scoring touchdowns.
Rams.

Titans at Bucs (-2.5)
This will be a real test for the Bucs who could do nothing right against a Colts team missing 5 starters, including Marvin Harrison and Bob Sanders. Just imagine the Cowboys trying to play without “the Player” & Roy Williams. The fact that Tennessee found a way to win (and yes, I know they were playing the Falcons) in spite of Vince Young should have Tampa worried. At least they can look on the bright side and say they’re not the worst team in Florida!
Titans.

Redskins at Packers (-3.5)
Jason Campbell had the best game of his fledgling pro career last week, and the chilly air at Lambeau should help him some. But the Packers are looking to bounce back after a tough home loss. I don’t see them dropping two straight at home, I just don’t. Not to mention, there’s no way to tell whether Joe Gibbs will remember whether he’s coaching that day or not.
Packers.

Panthers at Cardinals (-4)
The first time I posted this, I skipped over this game…probably because watching Vinny Testaverde and Kurt Warner fight over a can of Metamucil, isn’t how I pictured spending my Sunday. Cardinals are home and Kurt is slightly younger than Vinny.
Cardinals.

Patriots at Cowboys (+6)
A quick look at ESPN’s poll for who will win this game is rather revealing. Out of 32,000 people nationwide, (As of 10:30, a.m. EDT) only 55% of Texans are picking the Cowboys; 92% of people in Massachusetts think the Pats are going to win; but 79% of people in New York are also going with the Pats (as in the same people who watched them pimp-slap the Jets a few weeks ago). The simple explanation is that as much as New Yorkers hate Boston/New England, we hate the South even more. You might have better College Football, but at least we have all our teeth.
Patriots.

Raiders at Chargers (-9.5)
When I went to LA last year to visit my buddy Harvard, we sat in what passes for an Irish Pub out there and I watched the Raiders beat the Chargers for 58 minutes. I’m hoping Oakland can hang on those extra two minutes this year. I also like Oakland’s defense and think asking Philip Rivers to beat a team, even the Raiders, by 10 is a lot to ask. I just know this one's gonna bit me on the ass...
Raiders.

Saints at Seahawks (-6.5)
The Saints can’t seem to do anything right, and the sheen from last years amazing run to the NFC Championship game has turned a nice rusty orange. Seattle is a hostile place to play and not where I see New Orleans being able to right their ship.
Seahawks.

Giants at Falcons (+3.5)
You can imagine when the NFL braintrust was sitting down to pick this game they were thinking, “Eli Manning meets Michael Vick…this game is gonna be great!” Instead it’s Joey Harrington against—does it really matter? It’s Joey Harrington. Oh yeah, Byron Leftwich’s ankle is messed up…again.
Giants.

Lost Time Wrap Up

The TMQB, making up for lost time like a deadbeat dad…

Lost Time Wrap Up

Thursday, October 11, 2007

So I figured that since it’s been a few weeks since I had gotten around to dropping some knowledge on you like Senator Craig’s pants in an airport bathroom, I’d give you a double dose of “news.”
For starters, I can’t believe I didn’t mention Tony Romo’s 5 INT’s in the Cowboys “victory” over the Bills on Sunday. For those of you who know, I simply don’t like him…he’s like my J.P. Losman Version 2.0, except he’s kinda good; which upsets me because I’d love to see him fail. Why? Well, in the words of George Carlin, “because I’m a sick, evil f-ck, that’s why!” Seriously, do I need a reason? I’m afraid you’d like me less if I went all soft on you and started talking about puppy dogs and how cute Tony Romo and Carrie Underwood look and did you see what she was wearing to the Country Music Awards? (Excuse me for a minute, I have to go vomit). One more thing on Tony Romo, and I got this from a guy let’s call “Gene W,” who works for a really big sports network. But he basically said that if Quincy Carter hadn’t pressed the self-destruct button on his career, I probably wouldn’t even be complaining about Mr. Romo. So Quincy’s legacy continues, even when he’s out of the League and standing on the corner of Sepulveda and Sunset with a sqweege.
Larry Johnson’s hold out continues…oh, it doesn’t? Really? But I could’ve sworn…oh, well I guess it just seems like he’s still holding out. Especially after his last game where he rushed 9 times for a whopping 12 yards! Yeah Larry, so far you’re proving to be worth every penny. Did I say penny? I meant peso.
Shifting; for a moment; away from the world of football, let’s turn our eye to baseball. No, I’m not getting into what happened to the Yankees on Monday night…mainly because I need use my keyboard, not smash it to pieces. The Yankees had another early exit from the post-season and the Red Sox are still alive which doubly hurts. In addition, Joe Torre has probably spent his last game asleep in the dugout; Mariano Rivera (you remember him, the guy who loaded the bases TWICE during the final week of the season) is going to “test the market” before he inevitably resigns, lest he wake up with a horse head in his pillow; Posada & Pettite are also both free agents and I heard Joba is still having nightmares about gnats…oh yeah, and while the Yankees keep everyone else twisting in the wind, ARod has them by the figs. Maybe if we’re really lucky, Steinbrenner will completely wig out and offer Roger $50 Million to come back and not pitch for a full season.
Lost in all of the “disappointment” over another early Yankees exit from the playoffs is how happy we (New Yorkers) should be they even overcame a 14.5 game deficit to even make the playoffs. I’m sorry, that’s loser talk. People in New York aren’t fans of the Yankees because we say, “we want them to be one of the best teams in baseball;” we want them to be the best. If I wanted to live in a city with a perpetually-half-decent team, I’d move to Seattle. But I’m happy and I’m spoiled, so I live in New York City and I expect the Yankees to at least make it to a World Series every year. Totally unrealistic, but so is living in Topeka and wishing you could meet Catherine Zeta-Jones, while I make her wait behind me in line at Starbucks. That’s why I’m where I am and why someone in Topeka or where ever is where they are. I’m sure if you like cows and corn, then Topeka is awesome. I like to eat cows, and so long as my meat isn’t green, I could care less about Topeka. Meanwhile, there’s some farmer who’s giddy as a schoolgirl because the Yankees got bounced, even though the closest he’s been to New York was buying Sex & the City for his 16-year old daughter at Wall Mart. (Whew, sorry about that one.)

Random Observations:
My mistake, the aforementioned Mr. Carter? Turns out he’s not washing windows. Hey Quince, way to go from starting NFL quarterback to splitting time on an Arena League Football (Minor League) Team…Wow! And you thought Reefer Madness was a good deterrent against the ills of “the dread Marijuana!”
Vinny Testaverde signed by the Panthers? Wow. Was Ryan Leaf too busy coaching?

Tomorrow:
TMQB football picks make a return. How else would you know which teams to run away from faster than Ricky Martin at Scores.

Week 5 Wrap Up

Travis Johnson, Stand-up Guy

Week 5 Wrap Up

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Okay, so the TMQB took a short break and went to LA (to take in an Angels game and watch their un-fans celebrate winning the AL West a/k/a Second Weakest Division in Baseball), but now we’re back and ready to go.
First of all, let me say this; and I know I’m not going to score very many points; but Trent Green is a moron. There, I said it. If there are 10 other guys on your team (who don’t have a history of concussing themselves, by the way) what the hell are you doing trying to block a 315-pound lineman below the knees…while leading with your head??? Are you serious? Hey Trent, what did you think was going to happen when you catapulted your head in front of the knee of a man running full speed? Shit, I get a headache when I get out of bed too quickly. Honestly, it’s not like it matters; the Dolphins season was over when they let Daunte Culpepper out of his contract waste away before letting him go to Oakland (thanks guys) and signed a 37-year old QB who’s been concussed more times than Lohan’s had DUI’s. There’s no doubt in my mind that now that the Losmantastic Cleo Lemon is at the helm the Fins will win the rest of their games and manage a Wild Card berth…yeah, and Ray Carruth isn’t a baby killer. By the way, for those of you keeping score at home, the Dolphins pooched a sure win against the Texans and ended up staying winless, falling 22 – 19.
Elsewhere around the League, Byron Leftwich came in to relieve Joey Harrington (which if you ask me is kinda like trading in your Opel for a Peugeot) and proceeded to throw 4 straight passes to 8-foot tall imaginary receivers…yeah, he’s not rusty at all. You can’t tell me that the City of Atlanta would rather have a puppy-killer than the duo they’ve got now. Atlanta fell 20 – 13, despite 3 (count ‘em, three) Vince Young interceptions. I don’t even know how that happens. Seriously, how does the opposing QB throw 3 interceptions and you still end up losing the game? Oh right, your starting QB is Joey Harrington…right.
Elsewhere, the Ravens beat the 49ers in a game that proved more useless than reading to deaf children; Jacksonville beat Kansas City (snooze); Arizona beat St. Louis and the Bears “shocked” the Packers. Although, in order for the Bears to really shock the Packers, the Packers would actually have to be good and the Bears would have to go back in time and not make it to the Super Bowl…LAST YEAR.
Right around the time I was waking up Sunday to make some Purple Fingerling Potato Hash (yeah, the TMQB cooks too) the Giants and Jets were playing a thrilling game that saw Eli Manning finish the first half with a 0.0 Passer Rating. Never fear Giants fans, if there’s one thing you can count on Chad Pennington for (well, besides his girlish throwing arm and inability to pass more than 15-yards) is his knack for throwing interceptions exactly when the Jets are driving for a game winning or tying score. He did it last week against Buffalo and did it again on Sunday when the Giants had just gone up 28 – 24; the resulting TD on a run-back by Aaron Ross, put the game out of reach. You can bet that if the Jets and Giants didn’t play in the same stadium it would’ve been a very long flight for Chad(itha).
Before we get ahead of ourselves, saying the Chargers are BACK and start clearing space in the playoffs for them, lets try to remember they played the Denver Broncos, who (I’m pretty sure I told you) stink. Okay, "stink" might be a little harsh, but Jay Cutler is not Peyton Manning…hell, Jay Culter might not even be J.P. Losman, I’m sorry, low blow. But honestly, is anyone surprised by this loss considering they barely beat the Bills and Raiders? By the way, check this out…the GIANT head of Tony Siragusa. Scary, isn’t it? So, if we learned anything, it’s that the Chargers are still bad, just not as bad as the Broncos. To all those people talking about Jay Cutler & Philip Rivers being the second coming…they were a combined 36-for-54, with 502 yards passing, 2 TD’s & 1 Int…Wow! Stellar numbers, really. So, when do we take Peyton’s MVP Awards away…? No, no, I can wait.

The Colts won, the Steelers won and the Redskins won; but none of those things were really surprising so let’s move on, shall we? The Patriots also won, knocking off yet another team that probably would’ve lost to Stanford this weekend, beating perennial powerhouse losers the Browns. With the exception of road games at Indy and Baltimore and a home game against Pittsburgh, New England’s schedule is easier than Paris Hilton…at Lake Havasu…after a chugging contest.

Random Observations:
How pissed do you think all those people who have Ladainian Tomlinson on their fantasy teams were when the Chargers blow out the Broncos, his backup goes for 147 yards and he only goes for 67?
Pacman Jones thinks he’s done enough to be reinstated…yeah, and Mike Vick is going to end up getting a suspended sentence.
It’s too bad Tony Dungy and Bill Polian talk about god so much and, ya’know, have respect for people…otherwise, they would’ve signed Tank Johnson, who might be coming back to the League sooner than expected.
Honestly, and I don’t think I’m exaggerating, Chad Pennington should never be allowed to touch a football again.

Next Week:
Could Baltimore and St. Louis play to a 0 – 0 tie? Tune in to find out.
The Cowboys nice little win streak hits a snag when the Pats come to town.
Miami and Cleveland battle for the title of Worst Team in Football.

Unsubstantiated Sports Rumor of the Week:
New England is in talks to resign Charlie Weis, because Belichick is worried he doesn’t have enough over-weight pompous coaches on his staff.