Week 8 Wrap Up

Belichick, Not Running up Score…Just Being a Dick

Week 8 Wrap Up

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Before we get started, I’d actually like to congratulate Alex Rodriguez on his timing. Having your agent announce you’re nothing but a money-grubbing prick player, just as the Boston Red Sox are about to wrap up their second World Series title in four years, stealing all of their thunder, is just fine by me. Aside from that little blessing, this weekend was a pretty good one for New York City, but not so nice for Denver.
The Giants continued their march towards a second-half collapse; touching up the Dolphins at Silly Nanny Stadium. Miami made the game interesting in the fourth quarter, but it was too little, too late…although if they hadn’t traded away their best wide receiver Wes Welker Chris Chambers, they might’ve had a shot. New York rode Brandon Jacobs’ 131 yards rushing to the victory and Eli Manning had another Losmantastic game going 8 – 22 for a whopping 59 yards; finishing with a passer rating of 44.9.
The Lions continued their improbable march towards a winning record (no thanks to Matt Millen), beating the Bears, in Chicago. Perhaps, less surprising than the fact that the Lions are winning games, are the losses of the Bears, which continue to pile up. I know the Sex Cannon and Griese wouldn’t be most teams choices for a second QB, but it’s looking a lot like the Bears are missing Tank Johnson a lot more than they thought they would. Still, I’m glad the Bears are now being bitten in the ass for kicking a guy off the team for what amounted to a trumped-up charge.
The Titans continued to squeak by mediocre teams, beating the Raiders in a game that competed with the Jets-Bills game for the title of: Rather-Gouge-My-Eyes-Out-With-A-Claw Hammer-Than-Watch-The-Rest-Of. Vince Young put up Akili Smith-like numbers for the second game in a row and one could argue that even though he’s playing, the Madden Curse has rendered him virtually ineffective for the season. And yes, I know calling the Raiders "mediocre" is an insult to the Bills, Lions and Chiefs of the League, but I don’t really care.
The Steelers continued to try to create space at the top of the AFC North, throwing the Bengals a beating at home 24 – 13; although at one point, Cincinnati was down 24 – 6. The Bengals running game is virtually non-existent, Carson Palmer can’t seem to find his stride and they’re missing alleged cradle-robber/enabler, Chris Henry, more than expected. In all fairness though, he does look act like he’s 15, so you can understand how kids can get confused.
The Rams struggles continued when they hosted the Browns and Steven Jackson, fresh off of returning from resting his “lady parts” tweaked his back apparently compensating for some lingering groin pain. St. Louis opened up a 14 – 3 lead, before deciding that without their running back they’d just let Cleveland score 24 unanswered points. I’m just sad the Rams don’t play the Dolphins in Week 17…I think that would be too perfect for words.
The Eagles tried to get back on track, in a game I was almost certain they’d lose, beating the Vikings in Minnesota 23 – 16. While the loss itself isn’t that surprising, the Vikings are this years version of the Panthers; they play Dallas tough on the road and then get shredded by Donovan McNabb at home in a game that was never really close. The Vikings are supposed to have a pretty stout (although, they're looking more like Ricki Lake than Roseanne...chubby, not quite "stout") defense and the Eagles offensive line is worse than Au Bon Pain’s customer service; this should made for a fairly easy Minnesota victory. Instead, the Vikings dropped to 2 – 5, while the Eagles “improved” to 3 – 4.
Speaking of the streaky Panthers, they scored on their opening possession against the Colts and then must’ve decided to take the rest of the afternoon off. After taking practically an entire quarter to drive down the field and score a TD, the Panthers had no answer for Bob Sanders and the rest of the Colts secondary, who held Steve Smith to only 18 yards receiving on 2 catches; none after the opening drive. I know I harp on this a lot, but look at who the two teams have played. The Colts have gone up against: the Saints, Broncos, and Jaguars; while the Patriots have played: George Washington University, Florida A&T and Hofstra. Honestly, the only half decent team the Pats have faced has been the Cowboys.
Speaking of Hofstra, the Jets and Bills played a real barnburner snoozefest Sunday, in which the starting QB’s combined for 236 passing yards; but at least Chaditha didn’t throw another interception. Still, the Jets lost their fifth straight and, soon to be deposed QB, has mercifully taken his last snap as their starter.
The Chargers returned to their winning ways, beating a banged up Texans team that some people (mostly morons, not me) had winning the AFC South at the start of the season 35 – 10. Prodigal Son, Philip Rivers, was out-passed by Sage Rosenfels (something to be proud of) and Tomlinson was held to less than 100 yards on the ground. Still, the Texans tossed 4 interceptions and fumbled once for good measure.
Jacksonville came back to beat Tampa Bay 24 – 23, in the Battle for Florida Relevancy, and New Orleans took down San Francisco, 31 – 10.
That brings us to the New England Football Patriots, their “dreamy” QB and their sullen head coach. Seriously, Belichick looks more depressed than Britney these days..and he's a winner! The Dark Lord of the Foxboro claimed he hasn’t been trying to run up the score (yeah, sure) on opposing teams and his just playing football. Meanwhile, his Young Apprentice is on pace to throw close to 60 TD’s this season, and shatter Peyton Manning’s record of 49, but should probably watch his back. Honestly, if you can give me one good reason why Tom Brady and the rest of the teams starters are still in the game during the fourth quarter when the Pats are already up 38 – 0, I’d like to hear it. Sure, it’s all fun and games for people in Beantown when the Pats are blowing teams out, but you know Ray Lewis isn’t going to stand for that mess when they visit the Ravens. If Brady goes down in the fourth quarter of a meaningless game, all because Belichick wants to stick it to the other guy, people in Boston are going to be furious…and the Pats are going to be without a Championship.
Last but not least, the Packers almost lost a sloppy game against the Denver Broncos last night, but were saved by a dagger to Colorado’s collective heart in the form of an 82-yard bomb from Brett Favre to Greg Jennings on the first play from scrimmage in overtime. The Packers seemed to forget how to score and then allowed the Broncos to make it to the 4 yard line (missing about 12 tackles during the drive) before Denver was saved for, like the ninth time this season, by the right foot of Jason Elam. All of the extra work was for naught with Jennings grab, which capped off probably the worst weekend in Denver Sports since, well, ever!

Random Observations:
44.9 is no 0.0, but it’s still pretty crappy.
The Colts play 5 of their remaining 9 games at home this season…that could be HUGE down the stretch.
Kellen Clemens is getting the start at QB for the Jets on Sunday. Way to go Dennis, only about a month late with that decision!
What was Jay Feeley thinking, or rather I guess he wasn’t thinking with the Dolphins down 13 – 10, trying a squib-kick on the kickoff on a field with natural grass that had soaked up probably six hours of rainwater?
Marvin Lewis looks constipated throughout most of Cincinnati’s games.

Next Week:
At least the Rams and Dolphins won’t lose number nine, as both teams have a bye.
Final Score of the Houston-Oakland game? 6 – 3.
That mighty Patriot train most likely has a derailment traveling through Indianapolis.

Unsubstantiated Sports Rumor of the Week:
Tape of Belichick saying he wants to stick it to League by blowing out competition mysteriously destroyed...?