Coughlin should be jobless, only thing that makes sense

Coughlin should be jobless, only thing that makes sense

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Week 2 Wrap Up

So far, the only thing that’s really going according to form this Season is that you can throw all your rules out the window. “Good” teams are playing terribly, “bad” teams are playing well, and teams that should be losing games are squeaking by like Pink’s music career.
The Pats beat another bad team when they hosted the Chargers this weekend; no that wasn’t a misprint I said bad team. If anyone honestly thought the Chargers would’ve been able to take second year (as a starter, before Beansy or somebody freaks out) QB Philip Rivers, an entirely new coaching staff, not to mention Norv Turner at the helm and run away with the AFC West they way they did last year please raise your hand. The Pats, unfortunately, don’t have a real challenge on their schedule until Week 6 when they travel to Dallas, and I’m not even sure that’s going to be that tough for them.
Speaking of Dallas and the wildly over-hyped Tony Romo, they looked pretty terrible for most of three quarters against the Dolphins until, well, the Dolphins remembered they were the Dolphins. So far, Trent Green hasn’t proven a viable replacement to Daunte Culpepper, Cleo Lemon, Joey Harrington, Dan Marino; and the Dolphins look like they’re in for a more drawn-out season than American Idol. So Dallas ended up beating down Miami like Rampage beat down Hollywood Henderson; it wasn’t pretty but when it was all said and done there was no question it could’ve gone the other way.
The Colts escaped Tennessee with a victory and have to be happy not have to go back there until next year…or until Booger McFarland opens up Booger’s Bodacious Burger Shack in Nashville, because you know he’s thinking about it. Vince Young had one of those games I was waiting for him to have going 17-of-27 for 184 yards, with a TD and no INT’s and also ran for 53 yards. Peyton Manning had the kind of game I made fun of Jay Cutler and J.P. Losman for last week, going 28-of-42 for 312 yards, but only managed one TD, and threw a pick. The difference you ask? I like Peyton Manning and the Colts; and I think Losman is about a year away from selling pirated DVD’s on Canal Street, and the Cubs might make it to a World Series before Cutler has himself a ring. Still the Colts defense held onto this one for them, uncharacteristically bailing out Manning a couple times before collapsing, faster than Britney’s career, on VY at the end of the game to secure the victory.
The Jets and Giants picked up where they left off last week (stinking horribly), although the Jets at least showed a glimmer of hope in back-up QB Kellen Clemens. Because Brian Billick is an “offensive genius” in the same way Renee Zellweger is a “genius-genius,” the Ravens allowed the Jets to hang around and but for the inexperience of Clemens and Justin McCareins dropping a sure TD; this game could’ve gone to Overtime; where the Jets probably would’ve screwed the pooch.
The Giants meanwhile, were never in the game; a game they hosted no less. Brett Favre looked nothing like a man who should be eating his dinner through a straw and playing shuffleboard and every bit the gunslinger that Rex Grossman aspires to be if he, you know, didn’t make stupid decisions. I know, Giants coach, Tom Coughlin wanted to put the team’s best foot forward starting Eli Manning, but do you really want to see your QB; and his recently separated shoulder; trying to tackle 6’4” 313-pound Corey Williams following an interception? The Giants should’ve started the Walking Kentucky Twinkie Factory, Jared Lorenzen, and hoped for the best.
Elsewhere around the League, the Broncos improved to 2 – 0, no thanks to Jay Cutler, who should’ve been able to DEMOLISH the Raiders and were only saved because the NFL hates the Raiders or so Nosferatu a/k/a Al Davis would have you believe. The Bears hung on to beat a pretty terrible Chiefs team, Detroit shocked Minnesota, although “shocked” would imply there were actually people watching the game.
The game I wanted to watch, but was unable to, was Cincy against Cleveland; which was not only a barn-burner, but also the Browns first win since the original Browns (cum Ravens) left for Baltimore. The Browns beat the Bengals 51-45, in a game that probably destroyed a third of the suicide pools in this country.
Elsewhere, the Bucs actually did shock New Orleans (because people were watching this one); St. Louis proved their ineptitude losing to San Francisco; Arizona mildly surprised Seattle who played crappy in Week 1 and probably deserved to lose; Houston continues to cause the Earth to spin off its axis by winning; and Buffalo lost to Pittsburgh.
The Eagles somehow managed to lose their home opener to the Redskins, a team that by all accounts probably wouldn’t even win the Big East. I remember turning this game on briefly, thinking, “there’s no way the Eagles can lose this one! They’re at home? They’re playing the Redskins? Joe Gibbs thinks its 1982? I’m changing the channel.” Instead, the Eagles proved they could move the ball about as efficiently as Michigan and get into the end zone with the ease of Notre Dame…I once again changed the channel.

Random Observations:
If the Patriots already had two First Round Draft picks, how much are they being hurt when you only take one away and then basically allow them to use the money they’d pay that lost pick on a free agent?
Quite the impressive little sign by a Tennessean: “VictorY.” They know how to spell down there…
Okay, CBS, I get it. Kellen Clemens grew up on a HUGE farm in Oregon. What about his favorite pet or something?
Hey Coughlin, it’s probably not the best idea to have more guys throwing the football than you had running the football, whatcha think?
I didn’t talk about the Jacksonville – Atlanta game did I? No, no I did not.
If you had told me that after two weeks of the Season, the Lions and Packers would be at the top of the division, I would’ve asked you who was planning to kidnap all the Bears.

Next Week:
The TMQB broadcasts from sunny Los Angeles.
I’m actually interested to watch the Packers host the Chargers.
Eagles host the Lions…hmm, 8 wins off of John Kitna’s pace.
If Vince Young wasn’t playing Monday night…I can’t even finish that thought, it’s too frightening.

Unsubstantiated Sports Rumor of the Week:
The Patriots are thinking of signing Ricky Williams?