Tuesday, March 06, 2007

UFC Dap Edition

Grandfather Takes Lunch Money from Young Whippersnapper

UFC Dap Edition

Tuesday, March 6, 2007

We’ve had a pretty interesting weekend since my Top 20 Draft Prospects came out and an even more interesting week since the last installment of the TMQB. I’m sure most of you were hoping I was going to take this opportunity to crank out my Mock Draft, but it seems like a little bit of a cop out, not to mention; I just don’t feel like it right now…look for the Mock Draft later this week, probably getting written around the time that I’d normally be two-and-a-half sheets to the wind (about 9:15, p.m. or so) Thursday night.
So what has been going on the sports world that would divert me from my duty of making my Draft predictions? Well, for starters Dwyane Wade’s doctor must’ve swapped out the Miami Heat’s man-child saviors normal medication for a dislocated shoulder (ya’know, Vicodin, or an actual pain killer) Wade’s doctor seems to have prescribed Meth for his patient, who is now eager to make a return to the Heat this season. Now, I’m not going to doubt Mr. “Fall Down 7 Times, Get up 8,” but when I was wrestling in high school and dislocated (subluxed for those of you keeping score at home) my shoulder, I was pretty much useless after that. Then again, D-Wade is a World Class athlete who gets paid Millions of Dollars a year so he can pay trainers and conditioning coaches and afford to go see 4 different doctors until he pays for an opinion he likes. I had a coach who wanted me ready for New England’s and a school less interested in ordering an MRI than they were parading me in front of the rest of the student body as “yet another New England Qualifier!!!” Just for the record, I had a torn rotator cuff; but I’m not bitter, I swear. I also wish Wade a speedy recovery; although I think the Heat have about as much chance repeating as NBA Champs as I do scoring a double-date with Scarlett Johansson and Adriana Lima.
Aside from the Miami Heat and their suddenly crack addled Guard, UFC 68 was Saturday night; and while by all accounts it was pretty boring I was still super-geeked by the outcome. I went into this weekend pretty confident I wasn’t going to be writing about the UFC come Monday night, but then 43 year-old Randy “The Natural” Couture came out and decided he was going to put on a clinic against Tim “The Maine-iac” Sylvia a/k/a The Most Boring Fighter on the Planet. Couture, who had previously retired from the UFC after two straight defeats at the hands of Chuck Liddell, went up against Heavyweight Champ Sylvia; a man he was giving up nearly 40-pounds of weight and almost 7-inches in height to. Randy might’ve been the sentimental favorite because in some respects the Legend may have outgrown the man, the same way people hoped Michael Jackson would stay out stay out of jail last year…but no one believed it would really happen. Instead, Couture changed the complexion of the fight from the very first punch; which landed with the force of Katie Holmes’ realization that her life was over; that rocked Sylvia and sent him sprawling to the canvas. For the next twenty-four minutes the bigger Sylvia looked out of sorts and got pounded like a piece of veal waiting to be soaked in egg and breaded…then he tried to blame an injured back on his lackluster performance; which makes me wonder if his back has been injured his entire career.
Perhaps the most interesting thing to happen over the weekend was the start of NFL Free Agency, and with the salary cap being raised from last year it gave owners and GM’s the excuse to overpay middling players. Two examples that come to mind are the Cowboys signing an offensive lineman who didn’t even start…for the Cardinals! and the Rams giving an ungodly amount of money to the Titans number three receiver, Drew Bennett, to be their number three receiver. So aside from the crack-smokery of the Rams and Cowboys, the Patriots continued getting lucky for no reason picking up Ravens cast-off Adalius Thomas, while the Mummy a/k/a Brad Johnson signed with the Cowboys, has been with the organization less than 24 hours and is already trying to shake Tony Romo’s monkey tree. The Cowboys signed Johnson to be a “mentor” to Romo who still has not played a complete season and was showing signs of crappy towards the end of the year as his interceptions grew. Johnson however, has other ideas and wants to compete for, and apparently win, the starting job. We’ll have to stay abreast of these developments as Johnson continues to seemingly descend into madness.

Random Observations:
The Dolphins signed former Steelers Insane Linebacker, Joey Porter. When I understand why the Steelers let him go in the first place, I’ll be sure to tell you.
Stop the presses! Matsuzaka pitched three shutout innings…against the Marlins.

Next Week:
Friday, we roll out the TMQB’s 2007 NFL Mock Draft Spectacular.


Blogger Roman Sturgis said...

E, shoot me a line when you can to talk about the old school.


7:39 PM  

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