Lost Time Wrap Up

The TMQB, making up for lost time like a deadbeat dad…

Lost Time Wrap Up

Thursday, October 11, 2007

So I figured that since it’s been a few weeks since I had gotten around to dropping some knowledge on you like Senator Craig’s pants in an airport bathroom, I’d give you a double dose of “news.”
For starters, I can’t believe I didn’t mention Tony Romo’s 5 INT’s in the Cowboys “victory” over the Bills on Sunday. For those of you who know, I simply don’t like him…he’s like my J.P. Losman Version 2.0, except he’s kinda good; which upsets me because I’d love to see him fail. Why? Well, in the words of George Carlin, “because I’m a sick, evil f-ck, that’s why!” Seriously, do I need a reason? I’m afraid you’d like me less if I went all soft on you and started talking about puppy dogs and how cute Tony Romo and Carrie Underwood look and did you see what she was wearing to the Country Music Awards? (Excuse me for a minute, I have to go vomit). One more thing on Tony Romo, and I got this from a guy let’s call “Gene W,” who works for a really big sports network. But he basically said that if Quincy Carter hadn’t pressed the self-destruct button on his career, I probably wouldn’t even be complaining about Mr. Romo. So Quincy’s legacy continues, even when he’s out of the League and standing on the corner of Sepulveda and Sunset with a sqweege.
Larry Johnson’s hold out continues…oh, it doesn’t? Really? But I could’ve sworn…oh, well I guess it just seems like he’s still holding out. Especially after his last game where he rushed 9 times for a whopping 12 yards! Yeah Larry, so far you’re proving to be worth every penny. Did I say penny? I meant peso.
Shifting; for a moment; away from the world of football, let’s turn our eye to baseball. No, I’m not getting into what happened to the Yankees on Monday night…mainly because I need use my keyboard, not smash it to pieces. The Yankees had another early exit from the post-season and the Red Sox are still alive which doubly hurts. In addition, Joe Torre has probably spent his last game asleep in the dugout; Mariano Rivera (you remember him, the guy who loaded the bases TWICE during the final week of the season) is going to “test the market” before he inevitably resigns, lest he wake up with a horse head in his pillow; Posada & Pettite are also both free agents and I heard Joba is still having nightmares about gnats…oh yeah, and while the Yankees keep everyone else twisting in the wind, ARod has them by the figs. Maybe if we’re really lucky, Steinbrenner will completely wig out and offer Roger $50 Million to come back and not pitch for a full season.
Lost in all of the “disappointment” over another early Yankees exit from the playoffs is how happy we (New Yorkers) should be they even overcame a 14.5 game deficit to even make the playoffs. I’m sorry, that’s loser talk. People in New York aren’t fans of the Yankees because we say, “we want them to be one of the best teams in baseball;” we want them to be the best. If I wanted to live in a city with a perpetually-half-decent team, I’d move to Seattle. But I’m happy and I’m spoiled, so I live in New York City and I expect the Yankees to at least make it to a World Series every year. Totally unrealistic, but so is living in Topeka and wishing you could meet Catherine Zeta-Jones, while I make her wait behind me in line at Starbucks. That’s why I’m where I am and why someone in Topeka or where ever is where they are. I’m sure if you like cows and corn, then Topeka is awesome. I like to eat cows, and so long as my meat isn’t green, I could care less about Topeka. Meanwhile, there’s some farmer who’s giddy as a schoolgirl because the Yankees got bounced, even though the closest he’s been to New York was buying Sex & the City for his 16-year old daughter at Wall Mart. (Whew, sorry about that one.)

Random Observations:
My mistake, the aforementioned Mr. Carter? Turns out he’s not washing windows. Hey Quince, way to go from starting NFL quarterback to splitting time on an Arena League Football (Minor League) Team…Wow! And you thought Reefer Madness was a good deterrent against the ills of “the dread Marijuana!”
Vinny Testaverde signed by the Panthers? Wow. Was Ryan Leaf too busy coaching?

Tomorrow:
TMQB football picks make a return. How else would you know which teams to run away from faster than Ricky Martin at Scores.