Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Week 16 Wrap Up

Vikings and Packers Spoil Christmas for Millions

Week 16 Wrap Up

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Before I start this week’s piece, making fun of men who could eat me, I would like to extend my heartfelt condolences to Tony Dungy and his family on the loss of his son James.
You were probably expecting a nice Christmas present but instead, came downstairs and unwrapped the Vikings – Ravens and Bears – Packers games; forced to watch them like an unwanted piece of ham left neglected on the side of your plate.
Even before the Vikings were embarrassing themselves they got some bad news when Daunte Culpepper was dropped by FedEx faster than Smoot Dogg can dial the Gold Club. But hey FedEx, what’s with your spokesman Ryan Furby? Was Steve Elmo busy? George I. Joe on assignment?
I can’t remember the last time I saw more teams less interested in sowing up playoff spots. The Giants, Panthers, Chargers and Falcons all had chances to win and blew it. With the Falcons and Chargers blowing themselves right out of the playoffs.
Perhaps the biggest kick in the stones came Saturday during the Giants – Skins game. With a linesman busily pulling a groin muscle, he completely turned his back on Shawn Springs’ horse collar tackle of Tiki Barber which would’ve tacked 15 yards onto his run and probably resulted in a NY score. Instead, we got about 30 seconds of that officials butt while he got taped by an entirely too eager trainer.
Chad Johnson and the Bengals got into the Christmas spirit and were feeling so generous after Chad tossed presents into the stands, I guess they figured they’d give the game and a 1st Round bye away too. The Bills hadn’t won a road game all season; I don’t even think they thought they had a chance.
Did you catch Packers fans after they got schooled by the Bears on Sunday? I haven’t seen people in Green Bay that dejected since they got the news about Mark Chmura.
Speaking of inappropriate behavior, Steve Smith got ejected for touching a ref on the back? With Smith out, the Panthers reverted from a one-dimensional team to a zero dimensional team and actually made Drew Bledsoe look half decent. And yeah, yeah; I know you’re not supposed to touch an official, but it’s not like he Romo-style spit at him, did a Turley-toss or went with the Orlando Brown quasi head butt/shove.
Why even televise the Lions – Saints game? Those two shouldn’t even be allowed to play, let alone against each other. I don’t know who I feel worse for, their fans or the poor kids they’re going to draft in April.
Wait, the 49ers won? What the hell were they thinking? Don’t they know that now they not only need help from Houston but also a Silver Dollar?

Random Observations:
Despite two straight losses, the Colts are still the best in the NFL. And Seattle can’t be happy about only putting up 28 points on a defense that was resting 7 starters.
The Jets are more pathetic than Chunk from the Goonies, just not as fun to laugh at. Although is it just me; or does Cedric Houston look a lot like Adebisi from Oz?
The Cowboys cut kicker Billy Cundiff on Monday. What is that, like 9 kickers for them this season? No word yet, on whether they’ll be taking a look at Scott Norwood.
Bizarro Martin Sheen couldn’t wipe the smile off his face after his Broncos put some coal in his old boss’ stocking, beating the Raiders 22 –3.
That Monday Night Football halftime montage was more painful than Dandy Don Meredith’s singing.

Next Week:
I know they’re playing Oakland, but do you trust Eli Manning and the Giants? Yeah, thought so. Get the chips and dip ready; The Reggie Bush Bowl starts at 4:05, EST.
The Ravens and Browns on Sunday afternoon? Yeah, that game looks about as interesting as ABC’s new series “inJustince.”


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