Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Week 13 Wrap Up

Lions Lose Again, Millen Gives Self Raise

Tuesday, December 6, 2005

Week 13 Wrap Up

Looks like it’s that time of year for Drew Bledsoe again. What time you ask? The time when he takes a viable playoff contender and starts to play like a man bent on self destruction, ripping out the hearts of his teams loyal fans in the process. Did you see Bill Parcells face at the end of the game, that face he gets when he knows it’s fallen apart? That, “I smell bad meat or good cheese” face. Hey Dallas, I’ve got two words for you. Osi Umenyiora! The only person having a better defensive season is Dwight Freeney.
The Jets are still in the hunt for Reggie Bush or at the very least Vince Young. But I’m sick of the Matt Leinart talk. He’s got two bad knees and despite what he and Pete (I’m going to stay at USC forever because I can’t coach in the Pros) Carroll would have you believe, a shoddy arm after the rotator cuff surgery. Here’s an idea, let’s draft a quarterback coming off of a good college career who’s had rotator cuff surgery to replace our quarterback who had a good college career who’s coming off rotator cuff surgery.
For the 8th week in a row, the Bears won…no thanks to Kyle Orton. I mean, the guy completed 6 passes…SIX. Yes, their defense is amazing, but sooner or later you have to stop relying on freak gusts of wind; sooner or later your quarterback has to make plays. While we’re on the subject, Kyle Orton, shave whatever the hell that thing is on your upper lip. You look like William H. Macy in Boogie Nights.
Hey Buffalo, a 21point lead not big enough against Sage Rosenfels? Honestly, this guy is lucky he’s not pumping gas in Sioux City let alone orchestrating what has to be the comeback of the season. No one saw this coming, especially the Bills. If you told them they would crumble the way they did, Gus Frerotte would go down with a concussion and the Dolphins would lay 21 unanswered points on them in the 4th quarter they wouldn’t have believed you.
What’s with the Patriots? They’re just not convincing and the AFC East stinks; it’s seriously the worst division in football. The Patriots shouldn’t even be allowed to go to the playoffs. They basically dared the Jets to beat them, or at least cover, but for the 5th straight road game the Jets failed to score an offensive touchdown. Anyone out there think that one of the following teams doesn’t deserve to go to the playoffs instead of New England? San Diego, Kansas City, Cincinnati or Pittsburgh.
I just want to say that if the Pats asked Brad Johnson to fill in for Tom Brady people would be jumping off the Fleet Center. Although all the people talking about Brad Johnson as an MVP candidate must’ve broken into the stash that Ricky left in his locker at Pro Player Stadium. Yes, Brad is having an inexplicable resurgence this season, but the fact is that Peyton Manning won the MVP this weekend and people can finally stop talking about Jake the Snake as a candidate. I still trust the Vikings as contenders about as much as I trust Smoot Dogg to not already be planning the Love Boat part 2 to celebrate making the playoffs…because you know he is.
Last night John Madden asked, “I don’t know if we’re watching a really good Seattle team or a really bad Philadelphia team.” And then almost as if they’d heard him, the Eagles fumbled on their own 20 resulting in Seattle’s sixth touchdown. Guess we cleared that one up, huh…

Random Observations:
Mike Vick done got Pittsnogled against the Panthers.
Texans want Reggie Bush way to much to let something like getting their second victory of the season get in their way. They had the Ravens beat and gave up a 35 yard screen to Mark Clayton at the end of the game to fall to 1 – 11. Wow. I mean, if you were Dom Capers wouldn’t you just quit and have your doctor stop prescribing you a cocktail of Zoloft, Nexium and Acebutolol?
Did I mention the Indianapolis Colts are the Truth?

Next Week:
The Titans are favored for the first time all season against the Texans. One team that can’t score against a team actively trying not to win ball games. I just wish the Jets and Texans played this season. Couldn’t you just see all the Texans fans rooting for Curtis Martin and booing every time David Carr threw the ball?


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