Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Conference Championship Wrap Up

Jake Plummer to Join Cast of Lost

Conference Championship Wrap Up

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Just like the sequel to Chinatown, the Two Jakes failed miserably this weekend. Jake Delhomme’s performance was probably worse since the Panthers were never really in the game, while Denver at least tried to make things interesting.
If someone told you at the beginning of the season, that the Seahawks and Steelers would be playing in the Super Bowl; after you finished laughing your ass off, wouldn’t you think the Seahawks had absolutely no shot? Because, seriously, they don’t.
When, and if the Steelers win the Super Bowl, should there be any doubt in anyone’s mind that Ben Roethelisberger is on his way to becoming the new Tom Brady? Think about it. Both, virtually unknown before getting to the NFL (seriously, you didn’t follow the MAC Conference then and you don’t now, and you didn’t know about Big Ben before he beat the Pats in Week 8 last season), both coming in for shaky veterans who could never get the job done and just flat out won. Granted, Tom’s got a few trophies that Ben would like to have, but Ben has beaten the giant killer; doesn’t that make him the new giant killer?
Speaking of the Steelers and giant killers; not only are the Steelers the first 6 seed to advance to the Super Bowl, but they’re just downright scary! They beat arguably the three best teams in the AFC, all on the road, to get to where they are; how could you not be scared of them?
Less scary, but still pretty interesting is the fact that Bettis’ parents have never missed a single game their son has played in; and Jerome’s mom is about thirty times less annoying than Wilma McNabb. Speaking of insane mothers, don’t you just get the sense that Wilma will be secretly following the play of T.O. next season?
Some of you are going to hate me for this, but look at the Seattle – Carolina game like this. The Panthers are like the Rookies from Real World/Road Rules, Gauntlet II and Steve Smith is like Alton. Now, the Seahawks are like the Veterans team that’s been able to study Alton all season long and have seen him just embarrass people time after time. But they know one thing and one thing only…Successfully shut down Alton and the Rookies lose. Now I said all season, that if you shut down Steve Smith, you could beat the Panthers. Teams never seemed to want to listen, they were content to continue playing Cover 2 schemes and letting Smith rack up insane yards hoping the Kobe Bryant corollary would take effect (when you let the one really talented player do all the scoring, thus ensuring no one else on his team could get involved), just for the record, this backfired also. Well the Seahawks had the stones to put like six guys on Steve “Cry Baby” Smith, got him pissed off, got him out of his game and let Jake Delhomme try to beat them by throwing to mediocre receivers; one of whom, by the way, looks suspiciously like a taller Rae Carruth; the comedic implications of which are too much for me to handle at the present time.
Speaking of going into hiding, Jake Delhomme looked kind of the way Peter Sarsgaard looked on SNL on Saturday night…lost. His performance was awful; up there with Tara Reid’s in “Alone in the Dark;” I couldn’t suspend my disbelief enough to picture her as a scientist anymore than I could see him supposedly acting like a quarterback on Sunday.
Random Observations:
Is Greg Gumbel seriously getting fatter with each passing day? I mean, it’s getting a little ridiculous. He took up at least three quarters of the screen while interviewing Bettis; three quarters! If he’s not careful, Cowher might slap some pads on him after The Bus retires.
That Nick Goings/Lofa Tatupu hit was insane; I felt it sitting on my couch 3,000 miles away. I’m also almost positive I saw a tooth fly out. The fact that Goings actually was able to stand after that, albeit with some help, unequivocally proved I’d never even make fun of a kicker to his face…well maybe Vanderjack.
Carrie Underwood singing the National Anthem? Putrid! She started so horribly off-key that when I looked outside I saw dogs and cats dropping dead all over the sidewalk. It’s really too bad grunge rock doesn’t translate all that well to anthems.
The Budweiser, Instant Replay commercial with the horses playing football, the zebra and the “jackass” comment was fantastic. We’re now guaranteed they’ll muck things up in two weeks. Seriously, let Bud Bowl die already.


Post a Comment

<< Home