Week 7 Crunch Wrap

TO Calls for Jeff Garcia after Romo only Throws him One TD

Week 7 Crunch Wrap

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Recently, topping my list of things I don’t like; aside from the Red Sox and entire city of Boston; are Terrell Owens and the Dallas Cowboys, that’s why I was so happy the Giants are coming out of Texas with a win. Bill Parcells looked a little confused, like maybe all of the barbeque he’s eating by the metric ton is starting to effect his decision making abilities. The Orca pulled starting QB Drew Bledsoe in favor of Tony “Interception” Romo,no doubt to appease TO who looked ready to cry at halftime. It kind of worked, TO did catch a touchdown, but all in all Romo did more harm than good tossing 3 interceptions and no doubt causing the Orca to drive to the nearest Duane Reade (or whatever the hell they’ve got down there) and clean them out of Pepto.
Also reaching for something to help his stomach feel a little more Springtime fresh was Andy Reid, who managed to Kevorkian another possible Eagles victory with his clock management skills that are rivaled by only Chris Weber and Patrick Cowan…and I’m not just saying that because I’m pissed Notre Dame managed to win yet another game they should’ve lost, but Cowan is quite possibly the worst quarterback I’ve ever seen and he botchero’d the UCLA-ND game, handing fat Charlie…oh, sorry, I’m doing it again. So yeah, the Eagles sucked worse than Jenna in the good ol’ days and just when they thought maybe, just maybe they’d escape with a victory Matt Bryant, a guy who couldn’t even kick off properly when he was with the Giants, absolutely boomed a 62 yard field goal to win it.
Sort of like Mark McGrath hosting Extra, the Washington Redskins have also fallen very, very far. They did so in flying colors against the Colts and let Peyton Manning and Marvin Harrison tie a couple records in the process. Not exactly sure how Redskins Defensive End, Phillip Daniels was allowed to "hit Peyton Manning high" and nearly rip his head off in the process and not get flagged...for anything, but I'm happy the Colts walked away with the win. Washington came in expecting to run on Indy like OJ on the PCH…slow and steady…instead, Indy held Clinton Portis and Ladell Betts to less than 100 yards combined and basically shut down Mark Brunell and Santana Moss. Once again, confused Old Timer, Joe Gibbs, kept Jason Campbell on the sidelines in bubble wrap and let him watch and learn how not to win against a Colts secondary that was missing Mike Doss, Nick Harper & Bob Sanders.
Not looking depleted, but equally as impressive in victory, were the New York Jets who managed a win against that "pesky" Lions team that beat the Bills last week. Rocket-Arm Chad Pennington had a lights out game and when it was all said and done, the result was the same: Lions terrible, opponent win. The Jets also got that win without Curtin Martin and judging from how Leon Washington looked more like Leon Spinks, the Jets may have found the answer to their problems.
Not to be outdone by the antics of the Cincinnati Bengals, the San Diego Chargers have instituted a new law breaking policy and the players have really taken to it. First, linebackers Steve Foley and Shaun Phillips thought it would be a good idea to beat up some cops, then Safety Terrence Kiel decided he send a couple controlled substances through the mail and then our good friend Foley was back, this time with a woman who tried to run a cop over after Foley had been shot three times. Now, Shawne Merriman is getting into the act with a positive steroid test…way to go! Just one question Shawne, if you’re apologizing to your teammates; then why are you appealing your suspension? That’s like saying, “no, I didn’t rob that bank but I’m sorry I took that bag with the Dollar sign on it.” At least that whole thing about the Chiefs not being a real test for Philly Rivs was half-wrong; how to you throw 43 passes and only have 266 yards passing?
Injuries also “showed up big” this weekend, as Matt Hasselbeck probably came within a couple millimeters of having a Carson Palmer on his knee. Instead, the lucky Seahawks QB will only be sidelined for about a month while the proud Native American tribe, and juice makers take over for him. Meanwhile, Big Ben was trying to do his best Troy Aikman impression, what with the whole lying unconscious on the field thing and now he’s probably one big hit away from going from grandfather clock to Timex…and not the G-Shock either. Indianapolis lost Safety Mike Doss for the season with a torn ACL and watching Dungy’s disgusted look from the sidelines, I’d say he knew as soon as it happened. The Giants also lost a key defender, when LaVar Arrington tore his Achilles last night. Lucky for them, the Giants have about 15 other linebackers to help fill the void.

Random Observations:
For the second week in a row, Donovan has the camera trained on his disgusted look as a kicker takes a victory away from he and his Eaglets.
I’m convinced Theismann and Kornheiser have no business in the broadcast booth. Half the time, I don’t know what the hell TK is talking about, he just prattles on and on and makes these arcane references to the 1947 Giants or Chicago Cardinals.
Ronde Barber had more yards off of interceptions Sunday than TO did receiving last night…that makes me happy.

Next Week:
Washington gets a much needed bye week. Maybe Daniel Snyder will overpay for some more players who don’t blend with the ones he’s already got.
The Football Gods are laughing at us with not only a Cardinals-Packers match up, but also a Texans-Titans game.
The Bears might score 50 on San Francisco, although after watching what the Cardinals did, who the hell knows. Oh wait, their playing at Soldier Field…I feel sorry for Alex Smith.
Jake the Fake could be the next QB to lose his starting job to a kid with a whole lot of moxie!