Sunday, October 22, 2006

Week 7 Pick Bonanza

En Memoriam, 2006 New York Mets

Week 7 Pick Bonanza

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Watching the Mets pooch game 7 Thursday night I started thinking that while I might’ve been “rooting” for the Mets out of love for my City, I could honestly care less who won the game. This was no game 7, 2004 Yanks-Red Sox; no game 7 2001 Yanks-Diamondbacks; not even game 4, 2006 Yanks-Tigers. So I started thinking, if all of these fans of the Metropolitan Baseball Club of the City of New York want to run around and make fun of the Yankees when they lose, can I really be the bigger man? Take the high road? Root like crazy for the Cardinals (which I’ll be doing anyway, seeing as the Tigers beat my beloved Yankees)? I guess all I’ll say is, what if’s are nice but if ARod didn’t turn into Sal Bando during the Playoffs I’d still be writing about baseball…but I’m not.
A word about last week too. I tried, I really tried to crank out my picks before the games but with a busted router and some other technical issues (read, trying out the whole Vamparism thing), no dice. But since that’s over and I found out I don’t turn to dust in the sun I’m ready to go...and still questing after the perfect week.

Chargers (+5.5) at Chiefs
I’ve actually got a lot of problems with this game; I don’t even know where to begin. For starters, everyone in the 619 is ready to completely forget about some guy named Drew they used to have working there and anoint Phil Rivers the next Montana…um, get over it, he was playing against the 49ers, remember them? The guys who used a Rodeo Cowboy at QB last season? Meanwhile, the Chiefs would’ve looked better if they’d never even made the trip to Pittsburgh last week. That said, their defense has looked terrible but even this isn’t a test for Philly Rivs…

Jaguars (+9.5) at Texans
Wow. The Texans hung in there last week against their in-state rivals but the Cowboys would’ve kicked their own asses if they’d lost that one. Let’s take a look at some of Houston’s personnel: David Carr, sucks. Mario Williams, sucks. Gary Kubiak, sucks. The entire Defense, sucks. The Jags are not really interested in letting other teams score which spells trouble for little Davey and his “high-powered offense.” Final score 28 – 10 sounds about right.

Patriots (+5.5) at Bills
Sure, I remember a couple years ago when the Bills laid a whuppin’ on the Patriots 31 – 0 at home and I remember when the Pats returned the favor a few weeks later; by the exact same score. You know what else I remember? J.P. Losman is still the Bills QB and against the Patriots secondary (I think 4 guys Belichick found hanging out on a street corner in Roxbury) he should be good for at least 2 picks. That, coupled with the fact that Tom Brady got to stay home (not with Bridget Moynihan…haha, victory is mine! And by mine I mean, I’m pretty sure her security detail might maim me if I got within 300 feet of her) while the Bills lost to the Lions, I like the Pats to comfortably cover.

Steelers (+2.5) at Falcons
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Michael Vick is the greatest running back of his generation. Unfortunately, he doesn’t play that position and seems to enjoy throwing into double coverage. If that’s the real Pittsburgh Steelers we saw last Sunday then teams are going to have problems. I’m still amazed by Roethlisberger being able to pass for over 230 yards without throwing more than 20 passes. Polamalu can run with Vick, and might even be able to chase him down, Cheetah-Antelope style. This game could get ugly…and scary, like Elvira. My Crystal Ball is showing me back-to-back home losses for the Falcons…ouch.

Packers (-4.5) at Dolphins
Oh Jesus, there’s got to be a bottle of turpentine, or maybe some bleach I could drink instead of pick one of these two teams. I think the Dolphins have covered once all season and the Packers, forget about it. Right after I said, “you can never bet against Favre” he and the Pack went and lost to the Rams…although they did cover. The Packers are in Miami, which under normal circumstances would scare me but the only thing the Dolphins can do these days is stop the run and I know Brett likes to pass like 60 times a game so no problem there. I have no trust in the Dolphins, well maybe a little; but a little isn’t enough to bet money on them.

Eagles (+5) at Bucs
Yeah, the Eagles didn’t look so hot last weekend and yeah the Bucs looked pretty good last weekend against the Bengals, but c’mon…this is the Eagles and the Bucs and it’s not 2002, back when Warren Sapp was fat and terrorizing a young Chunky Soup eating Donovan.

Lions (-3.5) at Jets
The Lions just plain suck. There’s no way around it and aside from last weeks aberration against the Bills, I don’t see them going into the Meadowlands and beating up on the Jets…this year’s version of the Vikings (they’re good, oh no, wait they’re not, oh yes, maybe they are…oh, no never mind). The former Titans weren’t that convincing last week against the Dolphins so you can bet that Dennis the Menace a/k/a Eric Mangini will make sure his troops are ready.
By the way, am I the only one hoping the Jets bring Vinny back for one more tour of duty? How funny would it be to see Vinny and little Eric arguing on the sidelines and Vinny pulling some, “I was throwing touchdowns when you were still in short pants!” routine on Lil’ E.

Panthers (-2.5) at Bengals
For several reasons, I’m wary of this game. I don’t like the Bengals this year…and it’s got nothing to do with the fact that there are more felons on that team than there were on the ‘86 Mets and 2002 Blazers combined. The Bengals just don’t look like they’ve got it together and Carson Palmer goes from being lights out to gun-shy. The Panthers meanwhile, upgraded on offense and are still eking out victories. I’m sorry, what part of Keyshawn + Steve Smith + Crawfish Jake does not add up to touchdowns? That said, eking out a victory is still a victory and I am not betting money on felons…except maybe the Blazers, or the Hurricanes, or if Lenny Dykstra, Doc, Keith or Darryl decide to make a comeback…by the way, start listening around minute 1:50…fantastic! Anyway, I like the Panthers.

Browns (-4.5) at Broncos
The Broncos have one of the best defenses in the NFL. Let me run that by you once more; the Broncos have one of the best defenses in the NFL…and Romo has been supposedly roid free and off the team for 5 years. That said, the Browns have a half-decent defense, kinda like how Kelly Clarkson is half-decent looking. Cleveland should keep it close, although I’m breaking one of my cardinal rules, which is to never bet money on the city of Cleveland.

Redskins (-9) at Colts
I’ve only bet against the Colts once this season and admittedly, they should’ve lost that game against the Jets; but they didn’t, so ha. The Redskins looked awful last week and if you allow Travis Henry to rush for nearly 175 yards, you deserve to lose. I’ve also noticed the production from Colts running back tandem if Dominic & Joseph has been steadily improving. If Joe Gibbs is taking his Dementia meds this week, he might actually pull Mark Brunell in favor of Jason Campbell, but I like Jason and would rather not see Dwight Freeney accidentally break him.

Cardinals (+2.5) at Raiders
How do you manage to bounce back from blowing a 17-point lead and have your coach pull out all the stops with a tirade that managed to not only rival Jim Mora’s “Playoffs?!?!!?” meltdown, but the John Calipari/John Chaney near-brawl? You play the whipping boys of the NFL, the Oakland Raiders, that’s how. I think this guy I work with put it best when he said, “I just can’t trust a quarterback with two first names.” I’m looking at you Andrew Walter.

Vikings (-6.5) at Seahawks
The Vikings are fooling everyone into thinking they’re a good football team, the problem is some weeks I think the Seahawks are too. The Vikings are going to have to do more than steal an offensive lineman from the Seahawks to beat them.

Giants (-2.5) at Cowboys
Drew and that guy I won’t write about, you know, the one who doesn’t drink or smoke or take drugs or have 18 kids by 20 different mothers…that one? Yeah, catching 3 TD’s and having less than 50 receiving yards makes me smile a little bit. It also helps when you are allowed to push the DB off you in order to create space. I like the Giants, I like Shockey, I like Eli, hell, I even like Jay Feely this week! That said, Feely will probably crumble under the Monday Night Pressure and shank one with 3-seconds left.

Now that we’re done, I get to see how my picks stack up for another week. I’m 9 wins out of first, after Freddy Babbs’ insaneo 11-win week, and hoping to make up ground. Going 6-for-13 last week doesn’t help.


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