EPO Update Special
Chargers Open with Win Over University of Oakland
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
EPO Update Special
Brett Favre and the Packers picked up where they left off last season, sucking big time. Brett continued to sully his reputation throwing 2 picks in a 26 – 0 beat down, at home, at the hands of the Chicago Bears. As putrid as the Packers looked on Sunday, they couldn’t hold a candle to the absolutely rancid (like mayonnaise left in the sun in July in Texas) performance of the Oakland Raiders last night. I was watching the Raiders “play football,” while trying to suppress my gag reflex, wondering not only how Aaron Brooks suddenly became immobile, but if he forgot how to actually thrown the ball as well. Hey Al, still think Michael Huff was a better pick than Matt Leinart? Yeah, looks like he really helped to improve that defense!
Speaking of the soon-to-be proud papa, Leinart watched as his Cardinals somehow let the San Francisco offense score 27 points, which is just inexplicable to me; right up there with how Kim Basinger is still allowed to make movies. I know the Cardinal defense stinks but c’mon, this is tiny-handed Alex Smith running an offense who’s best player might be a rookie tight end who lost a fumble and mis-ran his routes on Sunday. Actually, what am I talking about? Of course Vernon Davis is San Francisco’s best player…I can’t even name three 49ers beyond Smith, Gore and Davis.
Chad Pennington was proving me wrong on Sunday. I, like an idiot, took the Titans at home figuring that as bad as they are, they were playing the Jets who I thought were that much worse. If I were a Jets fan I wouldn’t be celebrating just yet. I’d be trying to remind myself that my team, the Syracuse of the NFL just beat the Memphis State of the NFL and try to prepare myself for surefire implosions against New England and Buffalo.
I’m looking forward to this week’s games. I should be, considering the performance I put in this week. I was like a mule in a race with old thoroughbreds; everything started out well but when it was over I was choking on their dust. Now, considering I’m in a weekly pool, maybe it wouldn’t be the smartest thing in the world to dissect a couple of my picks. On the other hand, since I did go a Losmantastic 6-for-15 last week (40% for those of you keeping score at home), maybe I’m hoping you’ll pick the opposite team as me and lose.
Panthers at Vikings (Somehow, No Line)
Considering the way the Panthers played, at home no less, against the Falcons; I don’t trust them to go up to Minnesota and beat the Vikings. Brad Johnson looked better than serviceable picking apart the Redskin secondary and if Troy Williamson gets a week to practice how to catch this should be a no brainer. But remember last year when I said the Panthers were streakier than an 8 year-olds underpants? I’m standing by that. I still like the Vikes, spread should be 2.5 by game time.
Texans at Colts (-11)
Even Jessica Simpson isn’t stupid enough to take the Texans.
Patriots (-6) at Jets
It’s amazing the Jets go into Tennessee and win and then come home and are still 6 point dogs to the Pats. Did anyone not see the Pats play on Sunday? Not to mention, players should be pissed this week knowing they won’t have Branch for the rest of the reason.
Random Observations:
Aaron Brooks might just be the worst QB in the NFL. He’s no J.P. Losman, but still…pretty bad.
It’s a frightening thought that the Jets could be 3 – 0 by September 25th…yikes!
Dude, Leinart, what are you thinking? Seriously, you deserve to be punched in the face by Kurt Warner’s wife a/k/a Susan Powder.
Big Papi thinks he should win the MVP award for sitting out two weeks and having a big bat? Play the field and shut your mouth fatty!
Next Week:
The Colts should hang at least 30 on the Texans.
You know how ugly last night’s Raiders/Chargers game was? Wait until Tennessee visits San Diego.
What should’ve been a great Broncos/Chiefs match up will have lower ratings than reruns of Veronica Mars.
I like the Giants on the road in Philly. They played the Colts tough.
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
EPO Update Special
Brett Favre and the Packers picked up where they left off last season, sucking big time. Brett continued to sully his reputation throwing 2 picks in a 26 – 0 beat down, at home, at the hands of the Chicago Bears. As putrid as the Packers looked on Sunday, they couldn’t hold a candle to the absolutely rancid (like mayonnaise left in the sun in July in Texas) performance of the Oakland Raiders last night. I was watching the Raiders “play football,” while trying to suppress my gag reflex, wondering not only how Aaron Brooks suddenly became immobile, but if he forgot how to actually thrown the ball as well. Hey Al, still think Michael Huff was a better pick than Matt Leinart? Yeah, looks like he really helped to improve that defense!
Speaking of the soon-to-be proud papa, Leinart watched as his Cardinals somehow let the San Francisco offense score 27 points, which is just inexplicable to me; right up there with how Kim Basinger is still allowed to make movies. I know the Cardinal defense stinks but c’mon, this is tiny-handed Alex Smith running an offense who’s best player might be a rookie tight end who lost a fumble and mis-ran his routes on Sunday. Actually, what am I talking about? Of course Vernon Davis is San Francisco’s best player…I can’t even name three 49ers beyond Smith, Gore and Davis.
Chad Pennington was proving me wrong on Sunday. I, like an idiot, took the Titans at home figuring that as bad as they are, they were playing the Jets who I thought were that much worse. If I were a Jets fan I wouldn’t be celebrating just yet. I’d be trying to remind myself that my team, the Syracuse of the NFL just beat the Memphis State of the NFL and try to prepare myself for surefire implosions against New England and Buffalo.
I’m looking forward to this week’s games. I should be, considering the performance I put in this week. I was like a mule in a race with old thoroughbreds; everything started out well but when it was over I was choking on their dust. Now, considering I’m in a weekly pool, maybe it wouldn’t be the smartest thing in the world to dissect a couple of my picks. On the other hand, since I did go a Losmantastic 6-for-15 last week (40% for those of you keeping score at home), maybe I’m hoping you’ll pick the opposite team as me and lose.
Panthers at Vikings (Somehow, No Line)
Considering the way the Panthers played, at home no less, against the Falcons; I don’t trust them to go up to Minnesota and beat the Vikings. Brad Johnson looked better than serviceable picking apart the Redskin secondary and if Troy Williamson gets a week to practice how to catch this should be a no brainer. But remember last year when I said the Panthers were streakier than an 8 year-olds underpants? I’m standing by that. I still like the Vikes, spread should be 2.5 by game time.
Texans at Colts (-11)
Even Jessica Simpson isn’t stupid enough to take the Texans.
Patriots (-6) at Jets
It’s amazing the Jets go into Tennessee and win and then come home and are still 6 point dogs to the Pats. Did anyone not see the Pats play on Sunday? Not to mention, players should be pissed this week knowing they won’t have Branch for the rest of the reason.
Random Observations:
Aaron Brooks might just be the worst QB in the NFL. He’s no J.P. Losman, but still…pretty bad.
It’s a frightening thought that the Jets could be 3 – 0 by September 25th…yikes!
Dude, Leinart, what are you thinking? Seriously, you deserve to be punched in the face by Kurt Warner’s wife a/k/a Susan Powder.
Big Papi thinks he should win the MVP award for sitting out two weeks and having a big bat? Play the field and shut your mouth fatty!
Next Week:
The Colts should hang at least 30 on the Texans.
You know how ugly last night’s Raiders/Chargers game was? Wait until Tennessee visits San Diego.
What should’ve been a great Broncos/Chiefs match up will have lower ratings than reruns of Veronica Mars.
I like the Giants on the road in Philly. They played the Colts tough.
posted by EMW at 12:03 PM
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