Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Trade Deadline Countdown Spectacular

Trade Deadline Countdown Spectacular

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

I can see it now, Alfonso Soriano stepping off the Delta Shuttle at LaGuardia looking happier than Phil Mickelson let loose in a Krispy Kreme's while the Yankees send Aaron Guiel and Shawn Chacon to Washington in return. Of course, wishful thinking is how Mets fans get through their days, so I'll quit while I'm ahead. Speaking of the Yankees and impossible/implausible trades, I think A-Rod should stay right where he is.
The guy is, after all, the reigning AL MVP and is still putting up good numbers...for Jim Leyritz. Despite going 6 for 29 in his last few games he's one of the best hitting Third Basemen in the AL; despite the fluke season Mike Lowell is having right now.
The Nationals meanwhile, are like the drunk girl at the party who makes out with everyone but then goes home with her friend. All we've heard about since practically April is how every decent player on their team was available. Now, we're less than a week from the Trade Deadline and the only deal Bowden has pulled the trigger on makes DC better? I think it's safe to say Livan Hernandez is going nowhere. I think with the recent loss of Jose Guillen for the season, the chances of DC giving up another Outfielder who can produce are slim; not to mention this certainly raises their asking price.

Who will pull the trigger and why:

Yankees: George never saw a deadline deal he didn't like. Especially if it gouges the farm system of talent, leaves Yankee fans scratching their heads or contemplating jumping off the GW Bridge. Not to mention, the Yankees need all the help they can get. I haven’t seen a team this banged up since the Simple Life 2.
Red Sox: Theo seems bored with constantly being in front of the Yankees and having Fenway full of happy, sober Bostonians. Look for him to threaten dealing Papelbon or packaging Manny and Trot for some prospects.
Blue Jays: How long are you going to be content to stare at the ass end of the Sox and Yanks? The Jays spent big last winter and are still in third place; and after cutting Shea Hillenbrand they look more lost than a dyslexic kid at a spelling bee.
Mets: Omar put together a great team, but how much do you trust a staff with 4 starters that have a combined age of 145* to get you to a World Series? I don’t even think Glavine remembers how to pitch come playoff time.
White Sox: They need another bat, especially if Thome's back gives out in September; and everyone on the South Side knows those odds are better than playing poker against Helen Keller.
Mariners: They're only 3 games out in the putrid AL West. Adrian Beltre has been a bigger bust than My Super Ex-Girlfriend and their pitching is suspect like Michael Jackson hanging out with the Boys Choir of Harlem.
A's: Barry Zito's a free agent and would probably rather spend a night running around San Quentin naked than resign with Oakland. Just about everyone is a potential buyer. He'll probably sign with the Yankees, but might end up in Queens for the rest of the season.
Dodgers: Everyone in the NL West stinks, they just seem more interested in stinking a little less.
Brewers: Seriously, why bother?


Random Observations:
Steve Phillips thinks the Yankees should trade A-Rod. Thanks Steve, hard to figure with all of your baseball knowledge and how well you mismanaged the Mets you haven’t been snapped up to be the GM of the Royals or Hickory Crawdads.
I think it’s officially time for the other 4 teams in the NL East to give up.
Screw the NL West. Who ever finishes 2nd and doesn’t get the Wild Card should automatically make the Playoffs.
Unrelated to MLB, I wouldn’t be surprised if by the end of the season a member of the Bengals is eating Simon Adebisi's Patented Prison Cornmeal.

* If El Duque is 36, I’m 17!

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