NBA Finals Aftermath
Bengals Players to Participate in Scared Straight
NBA Finals Aftermath
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
It seems like ages ago the Heat Iked the Mavericks in Dallas in what some might call a slightly unexpected turn of events. Well, almost unexpected, I correctly predicted Miami wrapping up the series in six games, and while I’m sad I won’t get to see Mark Cuban pull a Dick Vermeil with the Larry O’Brien Trophy, I’m happy to see Gary Payton and his oddly shaped head get a ring; now please god do everyone a favor and retire. Things took such a sharp turn that after game 3 Avery Johnson looked like Doc Brown after seeing the Libyans. This year’s Playoffs restored my faith in the NBA, which I’d pretty much written off as a waste of time until Dwayne Wade and the Heat made me feel like I was 14 watching Jordan and the Bulls again. I just wish ESPN could’ve roused Berman from hibernation to do the commentary…you’re with me, leather!
Speaking of leather, estranged wife of Giants defensive end Michael Strahan made some interesting observations in court when she claimed among other things, the single season sack leader forgot their anniversary, their twin daughters birthday (do you consider that “birthdays” because they’re twins, how’s that work exactly?), and oh yeah, that he was gay; or more pointedly that he engaged in an “alternative lifestyle” with Men’s Health and Celebrity Fit Club doc Ian Smith; who judging from these photos seems totally straight by the way. Strahan has denied the allegations, although no one has seen him since Fleet Week.
Ozzie Guillen was also in a nautical mood this week and felt it necessary to wax poetic about certain kinds of Pirates and the English language. Apparently, Ozzie’s not too fond of frequent “Around the Horn” guest Jay Mariotti and in response to an article written about the wacky Sox manager, Oz responded the only way he knows how. He called Jay the British nickname for cigarette, which I guarantee you doesn’t mean the same thing Stateside. Bud Selig, who couldn’t do a worse job as Commissioner of Donkey Harness Racing, decided to “suspend” Guillen for an unrelated incident that happened like two weeks ago, made him apologize and ordered him to undergo sensitivity training; which I’m pretty sure consists of Ozzie strapped to a chair, Clockwork Orange style, watching old episodes of “Will and Grace.”
Seems to be a touch of the OJ Flu going around though; Phillies pitcher, and sometimes wife beater, Brett Myers arrived in Boston with his better half the night before the game decided to exercise some of his old boxing skills; problem is, the only person nearby was his wife and mother of his three year old daughter. Don’t feel too bad for him though, his wife certainly didn’t…she bailed him out.
Then, yet another football player decided his significant other looked better with a black eye. Bengals draft pick Frostee Rucker (you read that right), has been charged with two counts of spousal battery and vandalism. In the alleged brawl last August, his girlfriend’s blackberry and cell phone were damaged. So not only does it seem like the Snowman has a bit of a temper, but she was unable to e-mail for help.
Someone who does deserve a beating on the other hand is definitely Knicks owner, guru and ripper out of hearts, James Dolan. After taking his sweet-ass time, Dolan finally fired Larry Brown for allegedly speaking to the media without permission and replaced him with the man responsible for the high stroke rate in New York, Isiah Thomas…honestly, the Knicks are so terrible they could suck the zest off a lemon.
Random Observations:
Today is the ten year anniversary of the Dallas Police Department’s attempt to have Michael Irvin killed.
I always thought Jason Sehorn a/k/a Mr. Angie Harmon was a little…
Apparently Ozzie’s version of “apology” includes explaining that in “my country it means something different” and then following it up calling Mariotti a piece of…well he didn’t call him “friend.”
Check out the one with his twin brother and Strahan.
Next Week:
Steinbrenner fires Torre for exercising free will.
Didn’t think the Yankees could look any worse than they did Sunday night? Wait until Friday when the Mets come to town.
NBA Finals Aftermath
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
It seems like ages ago the Heat Iked the Mavericks in Dallas in what some might call a slightly unexpected turn of events. Well, almost unexpected, I correctly predicted Miami wrapping up the series in six games, and while I’m sad I won’t get to see Mark Cuban pull a Dick Vermeil with the Larry O’Brien Trophy, I’m happy to see Gary Payton and his oddly shaped head get a ring; now please god do everyone a favor and retire. Things took such a sharp turn that after game 3 Avery Johnson looked like Doc Brown after seeing the Libyans. This year’s Playoffs restored my faith in the NBA, which I’d pretty much written off as a waste of time until Dwayne Wade and the Heat made me feel like I was 14 watching Jordan and the Bulls again. I just wish ESPN could’ve roused Berman from hibernation to do the commentary…you’re with me, leather!
Speaking of leather, estranged wife of Giants defensive end Michael Strahan made some interesting observations in court when she claimed among other things, the single season sack leader forgot their anniversary, their twin daughters birthday (do you consider that “birthdays” because they’re twins, how’s that work exactly?), and oh yeah, that he was gay; or more pointedly that he engaged in an “alternative lifestyle” with Men’s Health and Celebrity Fit Club doc Ian Smith; who judging from these photos seems totally straight by the way. Strahan has denied the allegations, although no one has seen him since Fleet Week.
Ozzie Guillen was also in a nautical mood this week and felt it necessary to wax poetic about certain kinds of Pirates and the English language. Apparently, Ozzie’s not too fond of frequent “Around the Horn” guest Jay Mariotti and in response to an article written about the wacky Sox manager, Oz responded the only way he knows how. He called Jay the British nickname for cigarette, which I guarantee you doesn’t mean the same thing Stateside. Bud Selig, who couldn’t do a worse job as Commissioner of Donkey Harness Racing, decided to “suspend” Guillen for an unrelated incident that happened like two weeks ago, made him apologize and ordered him to undergo sensitivity training; which I’m pretty sure consists of Ozzie strapped to a chair, Clockwork Orange style, watching old episodes of “Will and Grace.”
Seems to be a touch of the OJ Flu going around though; Phillies pitcher, and sometimes wife beater, Brett Myers arrived in Boston with his better half the night before the game decided to exercise some of his old boxing skills; problem is, the only person nearby was his wife and mother of his three year old daughter. Don’t feel too bad for him though, his wife certainly didn’t…she bailed him out.
Then, yet another football player decided his significant other looked better with a black eye. Bengals draft pick Frostee Rucker (you read that right), has been charged with two counts of spousal battery and vandalism. In the alleged brawl last August, his girlfriend’s blackberry and cell phone were damaged. So not only does it seem like the Snowman has a bit of a temper, but she was unable to e-mail for help.
Someone who does deserve a beating on the other hand is definitely Knicks owner, guru and ripper out of hearts, James Dolan. After taking his sweet-ass time, Dolan finally fired Larry Brown for allegedly speaking to the media without permission and replaced him with the man responsible for the high stroke rate in New York, Isiah Thomas…honestly, the Knicks are so terrible they could suck the zest off a lemon.
Random Observations:
Today is the ten year anniversary of the Dallas Police Department’s attempt to have Michael Irvin killed.
I always thought Jason Sehorn a/k/a Mr. Angie Harmon was a little…
Apparently Ozzie’s version of “apology” includes explaining that in “my country it means something different” and then following it up calling Mariotti a piece of…well he didn’t call him “friend.”
Check out the one with his twin brother and Strahan.
Next Week:
Steinbrenner fires Torre for exercising free will.
Didn’t think the Yankees could look any worse than they did Sunday night? Wait until Friday when the Mets come to town.
posted by EMW at 9:31 AM
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