Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Suns - Lakers Aftermath

Royals Replaced by Little Leaguers, No One Notices

Suns – Lakers Aftermath

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

It’s been quite an interesting week in the world of sports. A hair cutting horse won the Kentucky Derby, the Pistons have brought LeBron back down to Earth, the Yankees have managed to string together five straight victories, the Suns overcame a 3 – 2 deficit to beat the Lakers in probably the most thrilling series of the Playoffs and sadly, Tiger Woods lost his father. But we’re not done yet. The Steve McNair saga is lasting longer than John Cage’s, “As Slow As Possible,” with no end in sight. The Ravens, to their credit, have already worked out a deal with McNair worth about $12 million, but the Titans have shown no desire to trade or release the player they told to leave their practice facility, not once, but twice.
Meanwhile, Jay Cutler takes over the Stupid Comment Department from Keith Hernandez, saying, “I think I’m just as good as those guys,” after being asked about Matt Leinart and Vince Young; which makes sense if you think about it, because you always take the best guy third…
The SCD might be getting a new intern though, seeing as after I predicted big things from Detroit in the playoffs, the Red Wings were ousted in the first round by the eighth seeded Edmonton Oilers. Then, the Buffalo Sabers, who I’ve treated worse than Tom treats Katie, not only made it out of the first round but also hold a two game lead in their series against Ottawa.
All is not lost however, as Barbaro put on a show at the Derby, smoking the field faster than Tanith Belbin was rushed through citizenship confirmation. One down, two to go, right? Every year people say, “this horse has a chance to win the Triple Crown.” Wake me after about a minute, forty-five of the Belmont.
Other things that didn’t take very long were the Pirates and Royals picking up where they left off last year, sucking. Pittsburgh and Kansas City have won a total of 17 games which is 4 less than the Mets have won this season, a thought too scary for words. Being from New York, I can’t be mad at the Mets though. I’m actually happy to see Pedro pitching well, and not headhunting Jorge Posada. I’m glad the Yankees didn’t overpay to get Beltran who has largely been a disappointment since his arrival in New York. I’m happy to see Tom Glavine pitching like the guy the Mets thought they were getting three years ago. Hell, I’m even happy to see Delgado standing for the Anthem again. Having another Subway Series, one that the Mets might actually be favored in; no less, would make me happier than the cancellation of Desperate Housewives. I know we’ve got about 125 games and about 5 months of season left, but a guy can dream, can’t he?
Speaking of which; last night I had a dream that people could tell me who won last weeks IRL race rather than blathering on about Danica Patrick. Seriously, I don’t know who won because racing’s not a sport. The only thing more laughable than calling racing a sport is Lindsay Lohan trying to be taken seriously as an actress.

Random Observations:
Every golfer on Tour should be very afraid of Tiger when he next steps onto a course.
The Lakers have two guys on their team named “Devon” (Devean George and Devin Green), who names their kid Devean? Who names their kid Devin, for that matter?
Bob Costas looked like he took down about ten grand worth of those thousand-dollar Mint Juleps, stumbling around like an idiot in front of the guy from Woodford Reserve and about 6 million TV viewers.
Most frightening thing I heard someone say last week: “The Mets just might be the best team in baseball.”

Next Week:
After making quick work of the Cavs and Heat, the Pistons and Nets kick off the Eastern Conference Finals.
More press for Danica after she finishes like tenth at some race.
Bonds throws a party after hitting number 715, invites Pedro Gomez.


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