Olympic Wrap Up

Young Decides Not to Use Brain for Wonderlic

Olympic Wrap Up

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

So I'm sitting here the other day when I thought to myself, “why is it so bad that the US performed as terribly as they did in the Turin Olympic Games?” Most of the US performances were either like Joey Harrington, embarrassing, or the Chicago White Sox, surprising. Hardly any of the people who NBC built up for the month before the Olympics did very much of anything and those who won, aside from Snowboarder Shaun White, were mostly pleasant surprises. Let’s face it, as much as Sasha Cohen was our best shot at winning a medal, Emily Hughes (who looks like Allison Hannigan with a serious case of the mumps, by the way) was the one getting most of the press. That is up until she placed seventh after the women’s short program. The US women’s hockey team, the equivalent of the Soviets during the 70’s and 80’s, had people polishing their gold medals before they even got to Italy, problem is, they were ousted in the semi-final’s, and had to trade in those golds for bronze.
I think if I were getting wasted with Bode Miller in his RV parked on the outskirts of the Olympic Village, the night before the Super-G of course, he’d turn to me and say something like, “you know, the whole thing about the medals is just stupid. It’s like a piece of metal and I’m like a Bodeist, so like, what am I supposed to do with a big golden CD?” Well Bode, it’s something you only get a shot at every four years and if you’re really lucky you’ll get another shot when you’re four years older, a little fatter, and your knees have a little less cartilage than they used to, but yeah, say the medals don’t mean anything if it makes you feel better.
Speaking of feeling better, Jonathan Abraham may not have to play with the Jets next season, which I think would make even Koy Detmer happy. New York has been busily shopping its newly named Franchise Player in the hopes of gaining another draft pick, or if the Mangini and Tannenbaum brain trust has its way, Houston’s pick and the rights to Reggie Bush…HA!
Meanwhile, the other captains of no tact and bad timing, the Redskins, are trying to unload former supposed savior, Patrick Ramsey, albeit a year after they could’ve gotten anything decent for him. With the possibility of having Brees, Culpepper, and Pennington all on the open market, how does Dan Synder think he’s going to get anything for Ramsey?
There are also at least three quarterbacks coming out of the first round, Vince Young, among them. Speaking about Vince, Tony Dungy compared him to another Young, Hall of Famer; Steve. Coming from Dungy, that’s as close to a ringing endorsement as you’re going to get. Let’s be honest, all of the second guessing is what gets teams into trouble in the first place. Just imagine if Ryan Leaf had gone to Indy and Manning ended up in San Diego. I mention this because of all the Jay Cutler talk; everyone forget he played in a losing program? Vanderbilt was 3 – 5 in conference play, 5 – 6 overall, and went 3 – 4 at home this season.

Random Observations:
- Barry Bonds is so sick of baseball he’s going to play the entire season before he retires.
- I talked enough about Bode, Lindsey, Shani and Chad last week, so let’s just say that for the most part, they’re going to be remembered for the wrong reasons.
- I’m not hating on Cutler, well maybe just a little, but anyone remember the last few QB’s to come out of the SEC? Tim Couch & Eli Manning among them; and we all know why Eli was drafted when he was...
- Was there a shortage of gold in Italy? What the hell was up with those Torino medals…awful!
- Vince Young had a smaller Wonderlic score than Linsday Lohan and Nicole Richie’s appetite on a coke binge.

Next Week:
Pre-Season gets underway, and tomorrow the Rockies can pick up where they left off…losing to the Cubs.
Nike asks Bode Miller to return the several million they wasted on him during the games. Join Bode!!