Olympic Update
Athletes Honor Sacred Games with Stupidity
Olympic Update
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
If you missed any of the Olympics this weekend you missed a real treat: Women's Curling, Pairs Figure Skating, and a bunch of Olympic athletes acting like complete children. I thought things were bad when Lindsey Jacobellis, who had opened up close to a five second lead in the new Snowboard Cross event, tried to pull a completely unnecessary Reverse-Indy Grab (reaching across your body and grabbing a hold of the bottom of your snowboard) going over the last jump of the race. The result: Jacobellis fell flat on her ass, did her best to scramble to her feet and watched as Tanja Frieden of Switzerland coasted past her for the gold. Shortly after Lindsey was finished pulling a Leon Lett/Michael Strahan, the US Men's Speed Skating team was busying themselves acting more like the Oakland Raiders, i.e. some talented guys, lots of complaining and backstabbing and a complete lack of direction. Chad Hedrick complained loudly and to anyone who would listen, that he felt betrayed by "teammate" Shani (pronounced "SHAUN-ee") Davis when Davis decided to sit out the new Team Pursuit event to prepare for his shot at the Men's 1000 Meters. Perhaps Hedrick was more upset about not having a shot at tying the US record of 5 gold medals in one Olympics, than Shani not actually skating. But in what can only be summed up as childish, he didn't congratulate Shani when he won the 1000 and instead said, "I'm happy for Joey" referring to teammate Joey Cheek who took the Silver. Davis on the other hand was calm and seemed genuinely at a loss for words after winning gold. Davis, by the way, becomes the first African American to win an individual gold metal in the Winter Olympics. Speaking of crybabies and things we need less of, don't you feel like the Jets talking about cutting Chad Pennington and signing Drew Brees is a lot like Milla Jovovich filming "Ultraviolet?" Think about it, she's fresh off the heels of "Resident Evil 2: The One That Didn't Need to Be." Then she goes and films essentially the same movie, with maybe some highbrow 1984/Brave New World/Fahrenheit 451 concepts thrown in, problem is this was done more effectively with Christian Bale in Equilibrium. So what does Drew Brees and his surgically repaired shoulder have that Pennington doesn't? Well, up until Marty "Worst Coach still employed" Schottenheimer left him in to have his arm nearly torn off in the last quarter of a meaningless game; I would have said a whole lot. Now, Brees is just another good QB with an injury that's harder to recover from than a weekend with Colin Farrell, Charlie Sheen and Robert Downey Jr.
One the subject of recovery, Ricky Williams failed a drug test this weekend, although he claimed he hasn’t had any marijuana since he was reinstated. Although, Ricky Williams saying he doesn’t smoke pot anymore is like Jenna Jameson saying she's calling it quits.
By the way, who the hell is Jay Cutler? Quarterback at Vanderbilt? And now he’s a potential number four draft pick going to the Jets? What’s next, Marcus Vick going in the second round?
Random Observations:
Pouring Salt on Hedrick's wound? Finishing behind Davis in the Men's 1500 Meters. Selfish assholes are great motivators.
For all the Olympibation that NBC did leading up to the games, they’ve been one huge disappointment. Big stars like Bode Miller, who we were all sick of weeks ago, has barely finished a race; Michelle Kwan withdrew before the games even started; while Jacobellis and Hedrick are bringing all the wrong kinds of attention to the US team.
Nate Robinson beat Andre Iguodala fare and square. AI squared broke out the behind the backboard dunk way too early. Robinson, who is like three feet tall, jumped over Spud Webb…jumped OVER Sped Webb!
You're lucky, the working title for this weeks' piece was, "Jacobellis Chokes on Golden Hotdog." Thank me.
Next Week:
The TMQB tackles the upcoming (in a few short months) NFL draft and breaks down the combine.
Pitchers and catcher have reported and the Red Soc get to start year two of the 86 year old curse, part two.
The Tuesday Morning Quarterback…not just about football anymore.
Olympic Update
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
If you missed any of the Olympics this weekend you missed a real treat: Women's Curling, Pairs Figure Skating, and a bunch of Olympic athletes acting like complete children. I thought things were bad when Lindsey Jacobellis, who had opened up close to a five second lead in the new Snowboard Cross event, tried to pull a completely unnecessary Reverse-Indy Grab (reaching across your body and grabbing a hold of the bottom of your snowboard) going over the last jump of the race. The result: Jacobellis fell flat on her ass, did her best to scramble to her feet and watched as Tanja Frieden of Switzerland coasted past her for the gold. Shortly after Lindsey was finished pulling a Leon Lett/Michael Strahan, the US Men's Speed Skating team was busying themselves acting more like the Oakland Raiders, i.e. some talented guys, lots of complaining and backstabbing and a complete lack of direction. Chad Hedrick complained loudly and to anyone who would listen, that he felt betrayed by "teammate" Shani (pronounced "SHAUN-ee") Davis when Davis decided to sit out the new Team Pursuit event to prepare for his shot at the Men's 1000 Meters. Perhaps Hedrick was more upset about not having a shot at tying the US record of 5 gold medals in one Olympics, than Shani not actually skating. But in what can only be summed up as childish, he didn't congratulate Shani when he won the 1000 and instead said, "I'm happy for Joey" referring to teammate Joey Cheek who took the Silver. Davis on the other hand was calm and seemed genuinely at a loss for words after winning gold. Davis, by the way, becomes the first African American to win an individual gold metal in the Winter Olympics. Speaking of crybabies and things we need less of, don't you feel like the Jets talking about cutting Chad Pennington and signing Drew Brees is a lot like Milla Jovovich filming "Ultraviolet?" Think about it, she's fresh off the heels of "Resident Evil 2: The One That Didn't Need to Be." Then she goes and films essentially the same movie, with maybe some highbrow 1984/Brave New World/Fahrenheit 451 concepts thrown in, problem is this was done more effectively with Christian Bale in Equilibrium. So what does Drew Brees and his surgically repaired shoulder have that Pennington doesn't? Well, up until Marty "Worst Coach still employed" Schottenheimer left him in to have his arm nearly torn off in the last quarter of a meaningless game; I would have said a whole lot. Now, Brees is just another good QB with an injury that's harder to recover from than a weekend with Colin Farrell, Charlie Sheen and Robert Downey Jr.
One the subject of recovery, Ricky Williams failed a drug test this weekend, although he claimed he hasn’t had any marijuana since he was reinstated. Although, Ricky Williams saying he doesn’t smoke pot anymore is like Jenna Jameson saying she's calling it quits.
By the way, who the hell is Jay Cutler? Quarterback at Vanderbilt? And now he’s a potential number four draft pick going to the Jets? What’s next, Marcus Vick going in the second round?
Random Observations:
Pouring Salt on Hedrick's wound? Finishing behind Davis in the Men's 1500 Meters. Selfish assholes are great motivators.
For all the Olympibation that NBC did leading up to the games, they’ve been one huge disappointment. Big stars like Bode Miller, who we were all sick of weeks ago, has barely finished a race; Michelle Kwan withdrew before the games even started; while Jacobellis and Hedrick are bringing all the wrong kinds of attention to the US team.
Nate Robinson beat Andre Iguodala fare and square. AI squared broke out the behind the backboard dunk way too early. Robinson, who is like three feet tall, jumped over Spud Webb…jumped OVER Sped Webb!
You're lucky, the working title for this weeks' piece was, "Jacobellis Chokes on Golden Hotdog." Thank me.
Next Week:
The TMQB tackles the upcoming (in a few short months) NFL draft and breaks down the combine.
Pitchers and catcher have reported and the Red Soc get to start year two of the 86 year old curse, part two.
The Tuesday Morning Quarterback…not just about football anymore.
posted by EMW at 11:04 PM
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