Tuesday, May 02, 2006

NFL Draft Wrap Up

Jets Fans Confused by Team’s Smart Draft

NFL Draft Wrap Up

Tuesday, May 2, 2006

So it's taken a little while for the next installment of the TMQB. I know I promised an NFL Draft preview in the wake of my bought with the flu, but I had to make an unexpected trip to Philadelphia during the draft and was unable to watch or chart any of it. That said, the City of Brotherly Love is neither brotherly, nor very loving.
And now down to business. The "what the...?" move of the Draft was obviously Houston passing on Reggie Bush and taking Mario Williams instead. I'm not going to pass judgment on this pick until after the season is over and both players have gotten a year in the pros under their belts. However, I'm not calling Mario "Super" until he starts eating giant mushrooms and jumping on the heads of Koopa Troopers; or in this case, Peyton Manning & the Colts.
Speaking of mind-altering substances, I'm convinced that Bizarro Martin Sheen smokes crack the night before every draft. How else do you explain his drafting Maurice Clarett…in the third round or his trading up to get the wildly overrated Jay "I won a total of like, 8 games in college, but hey I've got moxie" Cutler. Okay fine, Cutler has a big-game arm and a can-do attitude but c'mon, trading up to 11 to get him, when he would've still been on the board at 15; and probably 25? The only person I was more sick of leading up to the draft was Bret Favre.
The Buffalo Bills didn’t fail to disappoint on draft day, after losing Sam Adams to Cincinnati, Buffalo decided against drafting one of the two best available defensive tackles still available (Broderick Bunkley or Haloti Ngata) and took Donte Whitner who would have still been on the board long after the Jets put Cutler out of his misery at 29. This is what happens when the combined age of the men running your team is almost 170 years old! If Ralph and Marv keep this up they’re going to provide me with more unintentional comic gold than Rebecca Romijn’s Pepper Dennis.
If Rush Limbaugh woke up Monday morning with a whole lot fewer pills, I’ll bet it’s because Andy Reid must’ve been stealing them, considering the Eagles passed on drafting a wide receiver until the forth round. Do you really need to take a DT in the first round two straight years? I seriously doubt the Brown-Gaffney combo will strike fear in the hearts of NFC East DB’s.
One of the few coaches thinking clearly around the draft was Nick Saban who had dinner with newly deposed running back, Ricky Williams, who apparently tested positive for what ever caused Keith Richards to climb that tree…
I’d like to think the Titans really won’t be stupid enough to not only toss “Air” McNair aside, but throw VY to the wolves without letting him learn from the former co-MVP. Then again, this is a team located in Tennessee that used to be in Houston, Texas; and we all know neither state is very long on brains.

Random Observations:
Favre waited just long enough to announce he was coming back for another season to have Aaron Rodgers to contemplate suicide...again.
LenDale White, who showed up for workouts fatter than Trump, Jr., lucked out getting picked up by old coach Norm Chow & the Titans.
Rather than making a direct coconut joke about Richards falling out of a tree, I think the question really is: what was this coked up old nut doing in a palm tree to begin with?
Hey Cutler, you know who else has Moxie…? Wawa’s all over Pennsylvania.
The only team less interested in building a team through the draft than the Bills were obviously the Redskins.
Shaq & Kobe both became fathers this weekend. No word on whether Tom Cruise will help them cook the placentas.

Next Week:
Week two of the NBA & NHL Playoffs start…at this rate, they might still be skating in August.
The Ravens introduce their new quarterback, Steve McNair…Kyle Boller and Aaron Rodgers enter into a suicide pact.
After giving it much thought, Ricky Williams decides not to sign with the Toronto Argonauts in favor of the Vancouver White Widows.


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