Conference Semis Wrap Up
LeBron to Grow Van Dyke for Summer
Conference Semis Wrap Up
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
The last seven days have pretty much been one long don’t blink scenario. In true, bet you didn’t see that one coming fashion, the Pistons found themselves down 3 games to 2 to the Cavs and the defending champs went down 3 games to 1 against Dallas. Sadly for San Antonio, Dallas – with Coach of the Year, Avery “The Yapping Terrier” Johnson – stopped them in overtime of game 7, to move on to the Western Conference Finals. At the end of the game, Mark Cuban was jumping around on the bench looking happier than Mischa Barton when McG told her she was going to be killed off the OC.
None of the series grabbed me the way the 8 Mile did though, and at least now I don’t have to worry about the camera constantly focusing on Bron-Bron while he alternates between acting like the second coming of James Naismith and biting his fingernails like a 16 year old girl on prom night. With the series over, I can say with complete certainty that I knew Detroit would win; of course had Cleveland won I would have devoted this entire piece to touting the worst fix since Arizona won the 2001 World Series…think about it.
Shortly after Tony Parker finished making flight reservations to Paris with Eva, the Clippers run of pulling off the impossible ended after they got spanked by the Suns who make it to their second straight Conference Finals. The Suns picked the perfect time to stop playing like the Knicks and find themselves in back-to-back Western Finals for the first time since the days of the Round Mound of Rebound.
Speaking of guys getting fatter by the day, Jason Giambi’s batting average is hovering dangerously close to the Mendoza Line along with the Yankees chances of doing anything meaningful with this season. After last night’s rancid performance, the Yanks have dropped 4 of their last 5, are 2.5 back of Boston and only 5 games above .500. No doubt the Bombers will be happy to see the Royals come to town; although if the Yankees play against the Devil Rays is any indication, it could be a long Memorial Day Weekend in New York…
Two weeks from Saturday will be pretty quiet in the City, with no Triple Crown threat as wunderhorse Barbaro went down less than 20 seconds into the Preakness and had to have 26 screws inserted into his leg. And not to sound callous or anything, but you’ve got to wonder if the outpouring of support would have been different had Barbaro been an also ran or if people didn’t have millions riding on him to win. The sad fact is that aside from early May until mid-June, most people care less about horse racing than I do about Ashley Simpson’s supposed nose job.
Random Observations:
One more thing…I was less than pleased, when after beating a Wizards team that didn’t even decide to show up for the series, Bronzium fell to the floor and cradled the basketball ala Jordan after the ’96 Finals. C’mon…
Hey Zydrunas, just because LeBron decides to grow an Abe Lincoln doesn’t mean you have to grow one too. Leave the playoff beard growing to the hockey players, okay?
Apparently I wasn’t the only one whose ears perked up when ESPN racing analysts said Hemingway’s Key might be made a Gelding if he didn’t perform well at the Preakness. Maybe the Boss should try the same logic on Randy Johnson.
Kid Rock, there’s a reason you’re a rapper. No one wants to see you dancing on the baseline at a Pistons game.
Totally unrelated to sports, Nelly Furtado on SNL? Must be watched on mute. Seriously, I could get better sound by swinging a bag full of cats around my head.
Next Week:
Reggie Bush continues to make insane contract demands while saying he doesn’t want to hold out.
In his continued infinite wisdom, James Dolan sells the Knicks for $1.95, a Butterscotch Krimpet and a bag of pork rinds.
Steve McNair’s situation gets a lot clearer and there’s a 95% chance he’ll be wearing purple next season.
With Sweeps in full swing, Windfall could have higher ratings than the Stanley Cup Finals.
Conference Semis Wrap Up
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
The last seven days have pretty much been one long don’t blink scenario. In true, bet you didn’t see that one coming fashion, the Pistons found themselves down 3 games to 2 to the Cavs and the defending champs went down 3 games to 1 against Dallas. Sadly for San Antonio, Dallas – with Coach of the Year, Avery “The Yapping Terrier” Johnson – stopped them in overtime of game 7, to move on to the Western Conference Finals. At the end of the game, Mark Cuban was jumping around on the bench looking happier than Mischa Barton when McG told her she was going to be killed off the OC.
None of the series grabbed me the way the 8 Mile did though, and at least now I don’t have to worry about the camera constantly focusing on Bron-Bron while he alternates between acting like the second coming of James Naismith and biting his fingernails like a 16 year old girl on prom night. With the series over, I can say with complete certainty that I knew Detroit would win; of course had Cleveland won I would have devoted this entire piece to touting the worst fix since Arizona won the 2001 World Series…think about it.
Shortly after Tony Parker finished making flight reservations to Paris with Eva, the Clippers run of pulling off the impossible ended after they got spanked by the Suns who make it to their second straight Conference Finals. The Suns picked the perfect time to stop playing like the Knicks and find themselves in back-to-back Western Finals for the first time since the days of the Round Mound of Rebound.
Speaking of guys getting fatter by the day, Jason Giambi’s batting average is hovering dangerously close to the Mendoza Line along with the Yankees chances of doing anything meaningful with this season. After last night’s rancid performance, the Yanks have dropped 4 of their last 5, are 2.5 back of Boston and only 5 games above .500. No doubt the Bombers will be happy to see the Royals come to town; although if the Yankees play against the Devil Rays is any indication, it could be a long Memorial Day Weekend in New York…
Two weeks from Saturday will be pretty quiet in the City, with no Triple Crown threat as wunderhorse Barbaro went down less than 20 seconds into the Preakness and had to have 26 screws inserted into his leg. And not to sound callous or anything, but you’ve got to wonder if the outpouring of support would have been different had Barbaro been an also ran or if people didn’t have millions riding on him to win. The sad fact is that aside from early May until mid-June, most people care less about horse racing than I do about Ashley Simpson’s supposed nose job.
Random Observations:
One more thing…I was less than pleased, when after beating a Wizards team that didn’t even decide to show up for the series, Bronzium fell to the floor and cradled the basketball ala Jordan after the ’96 Finals. C’mon…
Hey Zydrunas, just because LeBron decides to grow an Abe Lincoln doesn’t mean you have to grow one too. Leave the playoff beard growing to the hockey players, okay?
Apparently I wasn’t the only one whose ears perked up when ESPN racing analysts said Hemingway’s Key might be made a Gelding if he didn’t perform well at the Preakness. Maybe the Boss should try the same logic on Randy Johnson.
Kid Rock, there’s a reason you’re a rapper. No one wants to see you dancing on the baseline at a Pistons game.
Totally unrelated to sports, Nelly Furtado on SNL? Must be watched on mute. Seriously, I could get better sound by swinging a bag full of cats around my head.
Next Week:
Reggie Bush continues to make insane contract demands while saying he doesn’t want to hold out.
In his continued infinite wisdom, James Dolan sells the Knicks for $1.95, a Butterscotch Krimpet and a bag of pork rinds.
Steve McNair’s situation gets a lot clearer and there’s a 95% chance he’ll be wearing purple next season.
With Sweeps in full swing, Windfall could have higher ratings than the Stanley Cup Finals.
posted by EMW at 10:38 AM
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