Tuesday Morning Halfback

A's Pitcher Loiza to Give Mickelson Driving Lessons

Tuesday Morning Halfback

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Father's Day Weekend wasn't just a weekend with marvelous weather that brought fathers and sons across America together; it also gave us 72 hours of awesome sports and afforded me the opportunity to watch one of the truly fantastic meltdowns in the history of golf.
At exactly 6:59, p.m. Sunday, I turned to NBC just in time to catch Phil Mickelson do his best Bill Buckner impression. “Pudgy,” as he's known by his fans completely imploded and went from having sole possession of first place to falling into a three-way tie for third. Now, I'm not one to revel in another man's misery, but watching Phil lose had me wanting to start popping bottles of Cris like Diddy. Phil was wild off the tee all weekend long, luckier than a five-footed Rabbit and I haven't seen driving that bad since Oksana Baiul left the Civic Center after one too many toddy's.
Unless you've been in a coma, or just really hate Europeans, you've probably been checking out some of the greatest soccer games this side of the Millennium. Teams, not the US, are giving it there all and even NASCAR crazy FOXSports is getting into the act, although they tend to focus their sights elsewhere… Halloween must come early in Germany though; how else do you explain the refs handing out red and yellow cards like Skittles? The game of the Cup came Saturday morning when Ghana shocked the heavily favored Czech Republic team 2 - 0, which doesn't bode well for the US. The Americans got stomped by the Czechs, who turned around and lost to Ghana; I'd like to think there's a happy ending in there somewhere for the US team, but the games aren't being played in South Korea this year...
Just when you thought it was safe to watch the Yankees again, they drop 2 of 3 to the fourth place Nationals, and highlight their ineptitude by blowing a 7 run lead Saturday afternoon. ARod, fresh off of being booed at Yankee Stadium, made sure to strike out with the bases loaded on the road and Jorge Posada threw more balls away than Anne Heche. As an added kick in the teeth, Tom Gordon, less effective last year than the marketing for Garfield 2, picked up the save against the Yanks last night, his 20th.
What is with the recent crop of NFL Draft picks? Bengals pick in 2005 Chris Henry, was arrested for the fourth time in seven months, in three different states, this time for pulling a Marcus Vick (the underage girl thing, not the gun thing…although he did that too) in Kenton County Kentucky; and then Steelers first round pick, Santonio Holmes, not to be outdone, decided to pull an Ike Turner on his baby mama, then wisely returned to the “Octagon” while she was filling out the police report. Jaguars pick, Maurice Drew, can breathe easy though knowing the assault charges against him have been dropped.
Okay, I’ll admit it. Just like Brad Pitt, I didn’t know what I was getting into when I picked the Hurricanes to sweep the Oilers and thought the Heat were screwed. The Oilers lost last night, in 7 by the way, but honestly who cares and the Heat seem to be in the driver’s seat…as long as the games are played in Miami.

Random Observations:
What the hell was Chris Henry doing in Kenton County Kentucky anyway?
You’d think the A’s would at least sit Esteban Loiza after he was pulled over doing 120 in his Ferrari, the night before he had to pitch…
Does Nowitzki really need to show those huge teeth of his after a making every basket?
The name of the organizer sponsoring the 20-city tour Oksana was supposed to go on before getting hammered all those years ago, Tom Collins…you can’t make stuff like that up!

Next Week:
Fresh off his 50-game suspension, Devil Rays prospect Delmon Young makes his idols’ proud when he headbutts an ump and punches a fan.
Steinbrenner, completely fed up, trades ARod to Washington for Soriano, and calls Seattle to inquire about the availability of Jay Buhner.
No more references to Oksana Baiul, I promise.