Le Wrap Up du Le Tour de France
British Scientists Discover Heart Inside Cyborg at Royal Liverpool
Le Wrap Up du Le Tour de France
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
You didn't really think we'd be able to make it an entire week without a member of the Cincinnati Jail Blazers getting arrested did you? This time the lucky winner was Defensive Tackle Matthias Askew who had to be Tasered by officers after apparently resisting arrest. The last time cops had to bring down a football player like that a coked up Barrett Robbins went off his meds and threatened to eat Miami. But that doesn’t explain what the hell is going on there. I mean, c'mon, it's not like Maurice Cheeks is coaching this team; and even though the Bengals would not confirm his arrest, I'd say some things are definitely out of kilter in Southern Ohio...askew perhaps?
Something’s also amiss in the Bronx, where Alex Rodriguez is suddenly playing the field like Chuck Knoblauch and handling a bat even worse. After picking up a Golden Sombrero on Saturday night, A-Job went 0-for-4 again on Sunday, but at least managed to find the first baseman's glove every time he threw the ball; unfortunately, the Yankees were Paris Hiltoned by the Blue Jays 15 - 4. With all the talk about whether or not the Yankees should trade him to ease his and their woes I've got a simple suggestion for him...stop sucking! Seriously, it’s a sad state of affairs when reports are coming in that you haven’t made an error in 2 straight games.
Tiger Woods walked away with his 11th Major Championship this weekend in fairly stunning fashion and rather than making fun of the guy who recently lost his father I'd like to ask ABC why their coverage featured so few shots of Tiger's hot wife, Elin? I guarantee you if they leaked they were going to commit to at least one Elin cutaway every 15 minutes their ratings might’ve seriously tripled! Instead, we get a 10-minute explanation from Mike Tirico about how Jack considers himself to actually have 20 Major's; which would mean that Tiger actually has 14 and blah, blah, blah, just show Elin again.
Apparently, Zizou isn’t the only Euro in the mood for a Glasgow Handshake. British Jockey, Paul O’Neill (no relation to Paul “Slayer of Gatorade Coolers” O’Neill, of Yankees fame), was thrown from his mount, City Affair, and retaliated the only way an angry Englishman knows how.
Floyd Landis won the Tour de France and no one seems to care. Maybe ESPN should pick this story up again in seven years when he's trying to break Lance Armstrong's record of seven straight. I mean, in a year when more people are interested in waiting for the next stupid thing K-Fed is going to do instead of tracking the progress of our Soccer team, expecting people to watch a guy in bright green spandex, not named Armstrong, ride a bike for six hours makes less sense than Hasselhoff giving up drinking…everyone knows a drunken Hasselhoff is a funny Hasselhoff!
Random Observations:
Alfonso Soriano says he wants to say in Washington. The same Soriano who was less than thrilled about going to Washington and then upon his arrival declared he didn't want to play the outfield, that Soriano? Okay, just checking.
I’m so happy Training Camp is finally here, J.P. Losman can start sucking again.
Donald Trump has apparently expressed interest in buying the Chicago Cubs…so he can make it the Classiest and most successful franchise in the history of Major League Baseball!
Seriously though, how pissed off are the French right now? An American has won their Tour 8 straight years. How much longer before they start pelting American riders with Snails, Goose Livers and expensive fungi?
Next Week:
With the MLB Trade Deadline fast approaching, keep an eye peeled for my Deadline Special comprised of deals I’d like to see go down. I’m not actually saying I’ll write one, but keep an eye peeled anyway.
The beginning of the end of the Mike McCarthy Era begins in Green Bay. They do know the guy was an Offensive Coordinator for the 49ers, right?
Since every member of the Bengals, who’s not already in prison, will be on a football field arrests should drop by at least 70%.
Le Wrap Up du Le Tour de France
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
You didn't really think we'd be able to make it an entire week without a member of the Cincinnati Jail Blazers getting arrested did you? This time the lucky winner was Defensive Tackle Matthias Askew who had to be Tasered by officers after apparently resisting arrest. The last time cops had to bring down a football player like that a coked up Barrett Robbins went off his meds and threatened to eat Miami. But that doesn’t explain what the hell is going on there. I mean, c'mon, it's not like Maurice Cheeks is coaching this team; and even though the Bengals would not confirm his arrest, I'd say some things are definitely out of kilter in Southern Ohio...askew perhaps?
Something’s also amiss in the Bronx, where Alex Rodriguez is suddenly playing the field like Chuck Knoblauch and handling a bat even worse. After picking up a Golden Sombrero on Saturday night, A-Job went 0-for-4 again on Sunday, but at least managed to find the first baseman's glove every time he threw the ball; unfortunately, the Yankees were Paris Hiltoned by the Blue Jays 15 - 4. With all the talk about whether or not the Yankees should trade him to ease his and their woes I've got a simple suggestion for him...stop sucking! Seriously, it’s a sad state of affairs when reports are coming in that you haven’t made an error in 2 straight games.
Tiger Woods walked away with his 11th Major Championship this weekend in fairly stunning fashion and rather than making fun of the guy who recently lost his father I'd like to ask ABC why their coverage featured so few shots of Tiger's hot wife, Elin? I guarantee you if they leaked they were going to commit to at least one Elin cutaway every 15 minutes their ratings might’ve seriously tripled! Instead, we get a 10-minute explanation from Mike Tirico about how Jack considers himself to actually have 20 Major's; which would mean that Tiger actually has 14 and blah, blah, blah, just show Elin again.
Apparently, Zizou isn’t the only Euro in the mood for a Glasgow Handshake. British Jockey, Paul O’Neill (no relation to Paul “Slayer of Gatorade Coolers” O’Neill, of Yankees fame), was thrown from his mount, City Affair, and retaliated the only way an angry Englishman knows how.
Floyd Landis won the Tour de France and no one seems to care. Maybe ESPN should pick this story up again in seven years when he's trying to break Lance Armstrong's record of seven straight. I mean, in a year when more people are interested in waiting for the next stupid thing K-Fed is going to do instead of tracking the progress of our Soccer team, expecting people to watch a guy in bright green spandex, not named Armstrong, ride a bike for six hours makes less sense than Hasselhoff giving up drinking…everyone knows a drunken Hasselhoff is a funny Hasselhoff!
Random Observations:
Alfonso Soriano says he wants to say in Washington. The same Soriano who was less than thrilled about going to Washington and then upon his arrival declared he didn't want to play the outfield, that Soriano? Okay, just checking.
I’m so happy Training Camp is finally here, J.P. Losman can start sucking again.
Donald Trump has apparently expressed interest in buying the Chicago Cubs…so he can make it the Classiest and most successful franchise in the history of Major League Baseball!
Seriously though, how pissed off are the French right now? An American has won their Tour 8 straight years. How much longer before they start pelting American riders with Snails, Goose Livers and expensive fungi?
Next Week:
With the MLB Trade Deadline fast approaching, keep an eye peeled for my Deadline Special comprised of deals I’d like to see go down. I’m not actually saying I’ll write one, but keep an eye peeled anyway.
The beginning of the end of the Mike McCarthy Era begins in Green Bay. They do know the guy was an Offensive Coordinator for the 49ers, right?
Since every member of the Bengals, who’s not already in prison, will be on a football field arrests should drop by at least 70%.
posted by EMW at 9:22 AM
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