PGA Championship Wrap Up
Papi Only Member of Sox not Having Trouble Getting Lift
PGA Championship Wrap Up
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Things Thankfully not Covered in this Week’s Installment:
The status of Burgermeat Barbaro.
Current levels of testosterone in Floyd “Bizarro Kid Rock” Landis.
Jay Cutler; in any way, shape or form.
Remember a few months ago when everyone was talking about how Tiger’s had lost “it” and it was time for Phil Mickelson (manboobs and all) to take the reigns of golf in a new, couch potato, Krispy Kreme eating, bacon grease dribbling down his chin, poor shot selecting, crumble under pressure direction? Remember? Yeah, apparently Tiger remembers too, that’s why he (for the second Major in a row) Iked the entire field to pocket Major Number 12 and move into Second Place on the All-Time list behind Jack himself.
It’s not like I wanted this to happen and I certainly wouldn’t say I’m happy about it (unlike Mets fans, Yankee fans could care less what happens to the Mets), but I do remember saying the Mets were walking a slippery slope relying on Pedro and Tom Glavine. The former is on the DL for an indeterminate amount of time while reports were that the latter’s career could possibly be over. Sure the Mets are better than everybody else in the NL but I don’t think the likes of John Maine, Victor Zambrano and El Duque (67 year old arm and all) exactly strike fear in the hearts of the other playoff contenders. Although the news might not be all bad, as early Tuesday morning sources said Glavine could be ready to go as soon as next week. Your guess is as good as mine, but I still think Willie Randolph shouldn’t breathe easy until November.
Also trying to stay in the playoff hunt are the Blue Jays but every time they try to get on track and make the impossible leap over the Red Sox and Yankees weird things start to happen. Things like a pitcher and manager getting into a visibly heated exchange on the mound; not so uncommon, followed by alleged fisticuffs…slightly less common. So obviously the question on everyone’s mind, or at least on mine, is what the hell is John Gibbons doing trying to fight all of his players? First he challenged Shea Hillenbrand to a fight in July, which I’m just guessing would not have ended badly for the 6’1” 210 Hillenbrand. Then he allegedly charges Ted Lilly in the tunnel leading to the clubhouse and ends up getting his nose bloodied. You know, if things don’t work out with Gibbons, I’m sure Albert Belle is looking for a job managing.
Speaking of tempers, mammoth egos and god complexes, T.O. is still on the shelf with that nagging hamstring injury and is set to have another MRI to find out what’s going on. Meanwhile, Cowboys Owner Jerry Jones continues to dilute himself saying there’s nothing wrong and that Owens isn’t angry at Parcells for not being cleared to play. I’m waiting for Dallas papers to start having headlines that read, “T.O. being T.O.” Funny thing is, T.O. is good enough to just decide to play half the games this season and still have a better season than say, Justin McCareins (for example).
Random Observations:
Sergio Garcia needs to seriously stop hating. Serg, dude, win a f-ing Major first, then talk shit. Anyone out there honestly think that if Woods had set his sights on baseball of football instead or golf that he wouldn’t be better than ARod or Tom Brady? Defy me, I dare you.
Since Gibbons likes starting fights he can’t possibly win, I suggest he join the UFC.
The Mets don’t learn do they? Going after Shawn Green? Last time I checked, he might be observant like Koufax but he sure can’t pitch.
I care about Notre Dame and their National Championship chances almost as much as I care about the supposed Pesto shortage-causing hailstorms in Italy.
Next Week:
The Zombie flu affecting Sox pitcher Julian Tavarez will continue to spread to the rest of the staff.
Barry hits another home run, maybe he doesn’t…even people in San Francisco don’t even seem to care anymore.
The Arizona Cardinals new stadium probably gets a name, but not the one I’m holding out for.
PGA Championship Wrap Up
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Things Thankfully not Covered in this Week’s Installment:
The status of Burgermeat Barbaro.
Current levels of testosterone in Floyd “Bizarro Kid Rock” Landis.
Jay Cutler; in any way, shape or form.
Remember a few months ago when everyone was talking about how Tiger’s had lost “it” and it was time for Phil Mickelson (manboobs and all) to take the reigns of golf in a new, couch potato, Krispy Kreme eating, bacon grease dribbling down his chin, poor shot selecting, crumble under pressure direction? Remember? Yeah, apparently Tiger remembers too, that’s why he (for the second Major in a row) Iked the entire field to pocket Major Number 12 and move into Second Place on the All-Time list behind Jack himself.
It’s not like I wanted this to happen and I certainly wouldn’t say I’m happy about it (unlike Mets fans, Yankee fans could care less what happens to the Mets), but I do remember saying the Mets were walking a slippery slope relying on Pedro and Tom Glavine. The former is on the DL for an indeterminate amount of time while reports were that the latter’s career could possibly be over. Sure the Mets are better than everybody else in the NL but I don’t think the likes of John Maine, Victor Zambrano and El Duque (67 year old arm and all) exactly strike fear in the hearts of the other playoff contenders. Although the news might not be all bad, as early Tuesday morning sources said Glavine could be ready to go as soon as next week. Your guess is as good as mine, but I still think Willie Randolph shouldn’t breathe easy until November.
Also trying to stay in the playoff hunt are the Blue Jays but every time they try to get on track and make the impossible leap over the Red Sox and Yankees weird things start to happen. Things like a pitcher and manager getting into a visibly heated exchange on the mound; not so uncommon, followed by alleged fisticuffs…slightly less common. So obviously the question on everyone’s mind, or at least on mine, is what the hell is John Gibbons doing trying to fight all of his players? First he challenged Shea Hillenbrand to a fight in July, which I’m just guessing would not have ended badly for the 6’1” 210 Hillenbrand. Then he allegedly charges Ted Lilly in the tunnel leading to the clubhouse and ends up getting his nose bloodied. You know, if things don’t work out with Gibbons, I’m sure Albert Belle is looking for a job managing.
Speaking of tempers, mammoth egos and god complexes, T.O. is still on the shelf with that nagging hamstring injury and is set to have another MRI to find out what’s going on. Meanwhile, Cowboys Owner Jerry Jones continues to dilute himself saying there’s nothing wrong and that Owens isn’t angry at Parcells for not being cleared to play. I’m waiting for Dallas papers to start having headlines that read, “T.O. being T.O.” Funny thing is, T.O. is good enough to just decide to play half the games this season and still have a better season than say, Justin McCareins (for example).
Random Observations:
Sergio Garcia needs to seriously stop hating. Serg, dude, win a f-ing Major first, then talk shit. Anyone out there honestly think that if Woods had set his sights on baseball of football instead or golf that he wouldn’t be better than ARod or Tom Brady? Defy me, I dare you.
Since Gibbons likes starting fights he can’t possibly win, I suggest he join the UFC.
The Mets don’t learn do they? Going after Shawn Green? Last time I checked, he might be observant like Koufax but he sure can’t pitch.
I care about Notre Dame and their National Championship chances almost as much as I care about the supposed Pesto shortage-causing hailstorms in Italy.
Next Week:
The Zombie flu affecting Sox pitcher Julian Tavarez will continue to spread to the rest of the staff.
Barry hits another home run, maybe he doesn’t…even people in San Francisco don’t even seem to care anymore.
The Arizona Cardinals new stadium probably gets a name, but not the one I’m holding out for.
posted by EMW at 10:03 AM
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