Week 5 Rundown (not to be confused with Breakdown)
Culpepper Must've Spilled Talent on Love Boat, Sent to Room by Saban
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Week 5 Rundown (not to be confused with Breakdown)
Sometimes, when the Football gods are smiling down on us, they provide us with truly great football…a whole lot of truly great football; this was not one of those weekends. Oh sure, there were some “interesting” games, and some games that made you scratch your head, but for the most part I was thankful I wasn’t subjected to seven full hours of awful games.
Not so surprising, the Colts nearly lost for the third week in a row. Inexplicably, however; that near loss came at the hands of the mighty Tennessee Titans and Vince Young who right after I touted him on Sunday morning proceeded to throw for only 20 more yards than he ran. Seriously, the only guy with this much hype who had a worse weekend was Dane Cook. Mystified is probably the way I’d describe watching the Colts run defense allow the awesome duo of Travis Henry and LenDale White run roughshod all over them. I'm also seriously worried about their chances coming out of the bye week with their next 3 match ups against Washington, then at Denver and at New England. When I said last year that I thought maybe a loss would have been good for the Colts, I wasn’t actually serious.
The Giants came off their bye week and “made a statement” spanking the Redskins 19 – 3, but nothing really happened. Some people scored touchdowns, Jay Feely missed a field goal, people asked what exactly Daniel Snyder is spending his money on and Eli got imperceptibly better…give it time; by 2008 he should be able to take this team past the Wild Card Round. I remember, eating a burger and nursing my Sam Adams (I might as well have drank it through a crazy straw our waitress was that friggin’ slow), thinking to myself that if the Colts actually lost to the Titans it was entirely possible we’d have a repeat of last year’s Division Round game when I absolutely flipped after Mike "I took a mental holiday" Vandershank missed that kick.
Watching the Steelers piss one away against the Chargers I couldn’t help but think the Steelers are like that good looking friend you have that you take to bars with you so all the hot chicks will stand around. Problem is, you have to remind this friend to keep his mouth shut because he can’t close the deal and ends up sending all the chicks to the bathroom to laugh about you…the Steelers are that guy. They open up a 10 – 0 lead on San Diego, are actually getting pressure on Philip Rivers and manage to hold Tomlinson to negative 1 yard in the first quarter. Then Polamalu decides to go surfing or something and Roethlisberger reverts to his stellar Super Bowl performance…or lack thereof. I’ve never been one for sweeping proclamations or generalizations…just let that one go…but I’d be very surprised if Pittsburgh is still playing in January.
To add insult to injury this weekend, I actually thought I’d picked well and we all know I should’ve taken the Jags, but hey, whatcha gonna do? My misery continued on Monday night however, when the two most anemic offenses in the League squared off - in the rain - in Denver. By 11:15 I was so disgusted I had to turn the game off, Steve McNair had already thrown 2 picks, and was probably due for a third, and the 2 teams were locked in a thrilling 6 – 3 contest. So when it’s all said and done, not only does Baltimore screw me harder than Dennis Rodman let loose on Carmen Electra, but I get dropped into an 8-way tie for first place in my Football Pool, which I have no shot at winning because Steve McNair thought he was still in Tennessee and kept throwing to the guys in the blue jerseys.
Random Observations:
Anyone check out the introductions during Sunday night’s game? What the hell is up with Steelers Cornerback, Ike Taylor’s head? Seriously, he looks like Flattop from the Dick Tracy comics.
I must be psychic…McNair did throw a third interception; but still manages to out-pass Jake Plummer? Don’t worry Kyle, pretty sure Steve would have to throw like 7 in a game before you saw any action.
I am honestly surprised no one was shot or stabbed during the Eagles game. Not to say I think any less of the good people of Philadelphia, but c’mon.
When the hell did Maurice Drew of UCLA fame become Maurice Jones-Drew? Hey Mo, what happened, take your wife’s name? Graduate from college and decide to give yo mama some props?
John Madden doesn’t have a single bad thing to say about anyone. I don’t know why, but I find that very interesting.
Was Kornheiser wearing mittens in the booth on Monday night? Tirico and Theismann are there in blazers and Kornheiser’s got on a turtleneck, leather jacket, mittens and I’m not sure, but he might’ve been wearing earmuffs (you thought I was going to link to that gnarly broken leg video, didn’t you?).
It’s been about 8 hours and the Cowboys – Texans spread has already gone from 13-to-12.5.
Next Week:
The bodies aren’t even cold from Monday night’s game and I find myself drawn to the Tennessee – Washington spread like a moth to flame. Am I the only one who has a problem with the Redskins being favored by 10-points? Does anyone in Vegas watch games anymore or do they just throw darts?
I’m looking into munching on a cyanide capsule instead of having to take either the Lions or Bills.
Seattle (-3) at St. Louis. I have a bad feeling about this one; watch the Rams actually win.
Long post. Bedtime and Friday picks coming down the pipe…
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Week 5 Rundown (not to be confused with Breakdown)
Sometimes, when the Football gods are smiling down on us, they provide us with truly great football…a whole lot of truly great football; this was not one of those weekends. Oh sure, there were some “interesting” games, and some games that made you scratch your head, but for the most part I was thankful I wasn’t subjected to seven full hours of awful games.
Not so surprising, the Colts nearly lost for the third week in a row. Inexplicably, however; that near loss came at the hands of the mighty Tennessee Titans and Vince Young who right after I touted him on Sunday morning proceeded to throw for only 20 more yards than he ran. Seriously, the only guy with this much hype who had a worse weekend was Dane Cook. Mystified is probably the way I’d describe watching the Colts run defense allow the awesome duo of Travis Henry and LenDale White run roughshod all over them. I'm also seriously worried about their chances coming out of the bye week with their next 3 match ups against Washington, then at Denver and at New England. When I said last year that I thought maybe a loss would have been good for the Colts, I wasn’t actually serious.
The Giants came off their bye week and “made a statement” spanking the Redskins 19 – 3, but nothing really happened. Some people scored touchdowns, Jay Feely missed a field goal, people asked what exactly Daniel Snyder is spending his money on and Eli got imperceptibly better…give it time; by 2008 he should be able to take this team past the Wild Card Round. I remember, eating a burger and nursing my Sam Adams (I might as well have drank it through a crazy straw our waitress was that friggin’ slow), thinking to myself that if the Colts actually lost to the Titans it was entirely possible we’d have a repeat of last year’s Division Round game when I absolutely flipped after Mike "I took a mental holiday" Vandershank missed that kick.
Watching the Steelers piss one away against the Chargers I couldn’t help but think the Steelers are like that good looking friend you have that you take to bars with you so all the hot chicks will stand around. Problem is, you have to remind this friend to keep his mouth shut because he can’t close the deal and ends up sending all the chicks to the bathroom to laugh about you…the Steelers are that guy. They open up a 10 – 0 lead on San Diego, are actually getting pressure on Philip Rivers and manage to hold Tomlinson to negative 1 yard in the first quarter. Then Polamalu decides to go surfing or something and Roethlisberger reverts to his stellar Super Bowl performance…or lack thereof. I’ve never been one for sweeping proclamations or generalizations…just let that one go…but I’d be very surprised if Pittsburgh is still playing in January.
To add insult to injury this weekend, I actually thought I’d picked well and we all know I should’ve taken the Jags, but hey, whatcha gonna do? My misery continued on Monday night however, when the two most anemic offenses in the League squared off - in the rain - in Denver. By 11:15 I was so disgusted I had to turn the game off, Steve McNair had already thrown 2 picks, and was probably due for a third, and the 2 teams were locked in a thrilling 6 – 3 contest. So when it’s all said and done, not only does Baltimore screw me harder than Dennis Rodman let loose on Carmen Electra, but I get dropped into an 8-way tie for first place in my Football Pool, which I have no shot at winning because Steve McNair thought he was still in Tennessee and kept throwing to the guys in the blue jerseys.
Random Observations:
Anyone check out the introductions during Sunday night’s game? What the hell is up with Steelers Cornerback, Ike Taylor’s head? Seriously, he looks like Flattop from the Dick Tracy comics.
I must be psychic…McNair did throw a third interception; but still manages to out-pass Jake Plummer? Don’t worry Kyle, pretty sure Steve would have to throw like 7 in a game before you saw any action.
I am honestly surprised no one was shot or stabbed during the Eagles game. Not to say I think any less of the good people of Philadelphia, but c’mon.
When the hell did Maurice Drew of UCLA fame become Maurice Jones-Drew? Hey Mo, what happened, take your wife’s name? Graduate from college and decide to give yo mama some props?
John Madden doesn’t have a single bad thing to say about anyone. I don’t know why, but I find that very interesting.
Was Kornheiser wearing mittens in the booth on Monday night? Tirico and Theismann are there in blazers and Kornheiser’s got on a turtleneck, leather jacket, mittens and I’m not sure, but he might’ve been wearing earmuffs (you thought I was going to link to that gnarly broken leg video, didn’t you?).
It’s been about 8 hours and the Cowboys – Texans spread has already gone from 13-to-12.5.
Next Week:
The bodies aren’t even cold from Monday night’s game and I find myself drawn to the Tennessee – Washington spread like a moth to flame. Am I the only one who has a problem with the Redskins being favored by 10-points? Does anyone in Vegas watch games anymore or do they just throw darts?
I’m looking into munching on a cyanide capsule instead of having to take either the Lions or Bills.
Seattle (-3) at St. Louis. I have a bad feeling about this one; watch the Rams actually win.
Long post. Bedtime and Friday picks coming down the pipe…
posted by EMW at 12:20 AM
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